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Stormy Daniels finally figures out why Donald Trump might have so many problems

The queen of the clapback strikes again!

Stormy Daniels, the porn actress who’s at the center of an ongoing hush money payment scandal involving former President Donald Trump, is pretty used to online trolls. She’s regularly called disparaging names and attacked, and she handles it brilliantly, all while solving why Trump is the way he is.

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Earlier on Tuesday, Daniels tweeted that she kept seeing links for merchandise that claimed to be hers, but wasn’t. “Guess I have officially arrived lol,” she tweeted. Then, because she’s smart and continues to make money off this whole thing, she mentioned she has T-shirts for sale.

This brings us to Twitter user Elijah Apple. A cursory Google search reveals this person is a really sharp intellectual — wait, I spelled “idiot “ wrong. Oh, and they also write a sex blog about constantly pleasing themselves and working in a cubicle. Regardless, this extremely useful-to-society human thought, “what if I slut shame Stormy?”

So, firing up their deepest intellectual synapses, they came up with, “Trump still hit lol.”

I think in the mindset of a tenth grader, that’s some sort of insult? The insult being that she had sex with Trump? And she’s somehow lesser than because of it? Elijah Apple, you have all day to sit in your cubicle and think, and the that’s the best you could come up with?

Daniels, who is clever, decided to give Elijah Apple a moment in the sun. She responded to his extremely elementary comment with, “His Head? Explains a lot.” Nice. So a head injury, that’s why Trump acts the way he does. Also should point out that Elijah Apple calls their account “parody,” so it’s probably an alter ego for a church pastor or something.

Until next time!


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Author
Image of Jon Silman
Jon Silman
Jon Silman is a stand-up comic and hard-nosed newspaper reporter (wait, that was the old me). Now he mostly writes about Brie Larson and how the MCU is nose diving faster than that 'Black Adam' movie did. He has a Zelda tattoo (well, Link) and an insatiable love of the show 'Below Deck.'