Warning: This article contains mention of sexual assault. Please read with care.
Justin Baldoni may or may not end up working on an It Ends With Us sequel, but thanks to his hard work, advocacy, and awareness of important issues like domestic violence, he’s become a beacon of light in an otherwise scary sect of the world. Now he’s talking about the heartbreaking sexual abuse he experienced.
Baldoni shared a lot about his life and career in an interview on the podcast How to Fail hosted by Elizabeth Day. According to People, the actor explained that he “experienced sexual trauma” while dating a woman when he attended Long Beach State and it was “emotionally abusive.” He shared that he wasn’t going to have sex until he got married; for 15 years, he had a hard time admitting this had taken place. He said, “In my head, a man can’t experience sexual trauma at the hands of a woman.”
Baldoni said that when he spoke to a therapist, she asked him, “If a woman told you that story, what would you call it?” and he added, “That’s when I broke.”
This story is incredibly important, not only because people need to be aware that men can experience abuse too, but because talking to a therapist is often a necessary part of processing assault, abuse, and trauma. It can be difficult to talk about this, though, which is why it’s so significant that Baldoni has been publically raw and honest. According to the National Alliance to End Sexual Violence, men are the victims of 1 in 25 sexual assaults that are reported, and boys are the victims of 1 in 6. Males are also the victims of approximately 25% of rapes that are reported. As the Office for Violence Prevention and Victim Assistance at Rutgers University-New Brunswick explains, the stereotypes of men being “tough” or not experiencing assault means that several keep quiet about the violence. This is, of course, heartwrenching since that just means suffering even more and not getting the necessary support.
Baldoni shared that he decided to move on from college and go to Los Angeles. He said, “It was actually thanks to that relationship ending that I ended up becoming an actor.” In an interview with Forbes, he talked about hosting The Man Enough Podcast and also writing his book Man Enough, and he alluded to the experiences he has had in the past. He said, “As somebody who is healing my own traumas, I have been doing very serious work for years.”
In the years since his heartbreaking experience, Baldoni has raised awareness of domestic violence for a long time. According to Variety, he ensured that the final credits of It Ends With Us have a note for audiences to visit the No More Foundation website to get support. Baldoni’s work around this topic is in stark contrast to the negative reaction to Blake Lively’s flowery and girly promotion of the movie. As both the director of the film and the actor who portrayed the abusive Ryle Kincaid, he never lost sight of what the story is actually about.
In September 2024, he wrote a note to survivors on his Instagram account and wrote, “I want you to know that you are never alone in this fight. We are with you.” Hopefully, Baldoni’s story will help others feel less isolated and find a trusted person to talk to if they are suffering.
If you know someone suffering from sexual violence, contact RAINN or the National Sexual Abuse Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
Published: Dec 5, 2024 11:47 am