‘Update his obituary’: British newsrooms said to be actively preparing for King Charles’ death, what do they know?

King Charles waited 73 long years to take the throne, but was only just easing into the big job when disaster struck. A routine examination early in the year revealed that the King has cancer, and he promptly began treatment for it.

We don’t know what kind of cancer he’s got (except that it’s not prostate cancer), what his prognosis is, or what course of treatment he’s undergoing. However, he’s not exactly been looking great in recent photos and public appearances, and the lack of positive updates has had many suspecting his situation may be graver than the palace is letting on.

Now a new report from the British media appears to indicate that the most pessimistic predictions are coming true. Weekly media newsletter Popbitch, which has an excellent record for accurate insider press gossip, states the following in its latest report:

We know obituaries for important figures are regularly prepared far in advance of their requirement, but this week at least two major UK newsrooms were instructed by bosses to update their monarch obituary procedures.”

So what does this mean for Charles?

The British media know what we don’t

The Royal family has long had an uneasy symbiotic relationship with the British media. The basic situation is that Royal stories shift newspapers and will be published whatever happens, so the Royal press offices have calculated that they may as well grant controlled access in exchange for positive coverage.

When the deal is working well both the press and the Palace get what they want: high sales and news articles that make the Royals look good. When it breaks down? Well, one of the reasons Harry and Meghan ditched the country was because of constant negative stories being fed to the press about them from within palace walls.

All of this means that the editors of major newspapers almost certainly know the truth about Charles’ health and the progress of his cancer, but won’t print it because it’d ruin their Royal access (and also because publishing private medical details of the King would be scummy even for the very scummy British tabloids).

If the report is accurate two separate outlets updating his obituary means the media is quietly preparing for the worst – perhaps even bad news that could arrive with very little advance notice. If we were Prince William, we’d maybe avoid making summer vacation plans.