Chicago woman has a 5-day fling with an Instagram match. Then she finds out his friend is hunting down her friends: ‘Rubs me the wrong way’

Modern dating is already a minefield of digital etiquette. But for Chicago creator Dina (TikTok/@dinalupancu), a promising Instagram connection broke because of “friend-hunting.”

In a video that has sparked a debate on dating boundaries, Dina detailed an unusual matchmaking approach by a man’s friend. While she followed through, it eventually revealed a pattern that left her feeling “put off.” Even though the man’s friend was the culprit.

She leaves all men with a reminder that “vouching” for a buddy shouldn’t become a systematic campaign to an entire social circle. You might end up in everyone’s blocklist.

A matchmaking Instagram DM led to five days of consistent chatting

The saga began when Dina received an Instagram DM from a man she didn’t know, recommending she date his friend. Though Dina rarely responds to cold messages, she found the “different approach” of someone vouching for their friend intriguing.

After receiving the friend’s name and a list of qualities that matched her preferences, Dina started talking to him. The two hit it off, maintaining five days of consistent, high-quality conversation.

Dina’s workout session with a best friend exposed a bigger scheme

The excitement came to a screeching halt during a workout with her best friend. The friend had just returned from a two-week trip and the two began catching up. When Dina shared the story, her friend realized she had received a DM from the same man.

Although the friend had deleted the message, she confirmed the name and the identical matchmaking pitch. Dina quickly deduced that the man was likely mining her profile. Meaning, he was looking through her photos and following list to message “every single girl” she was friends with on behalf of his buddy.

Dina is now unsure if she should cut the Instagram connection entirely

The creator expressed deep discomfort with the realization that her social circle was being “hunted.” She isn’t sure if the man she is actually talking to knows the extent of his friend’s digital legwork. Despite that, she admitted that the situation “rubs me the wrong way.”

She also explained that she’s known for being quick to “cut one off” when things feel off. But she’s still questioning whether she should end the five-day streak immediately or give the guy an opportunity to explain the “friend-hunting” tactics used to find her.

The digital ethics of ‘Mining’ friends for dates

In the world of social media, “mining” refers to the act of systematically going through a user’s tags and followers to find potential targets. While “wingman” culture is common, using a friend’s private network as a dating pool without transparency is a predatory breach of social boundaries.

By messaging Dina’s engaged best friend, the “matchmaker” demonstrated that he wasn’t looking for a specific fit. He was rather casting a wide net across a group of acquaintances. Such a tactic often devalues the personal connection Dina thought she had found.

How to handle a ‘matchmaking’ red flag?

If you find yourself in Dina’s Chicago-sized dilemma, consider vetting your digital dates. As Dina did, mention your new connection to your close friends early on. If they’ve also been “vouched for” by the same person, it’s a clear sign of a pattern.

If you want to give your newfound connection a chance, be direct. Ask, “Hey, my friend mentioned your buddy messaged her too. What’s the deal with that?” The quality of his explanation will tell you everything you need to know about his involvement.

If the “matchmaker” is looking at tags and private profiles of your friends, the level of digital digging signals future boundary issues. So, it’s better to talk everything out early on.

Lastly, if the initial “hook” of the relationship was based on a deceptive or high-pressure tactic, the foundation is already shaky. As Dina noted, being “quick to cut one off” can save you from a lot of future drama.

Matchmaking should be personal, not a mass-DMing on Instagram

Dina’s experience proves that a “different approach” isn’t always a better one. While the conversation was “cute,” the discovery of a wider friend-hunt turned a romantic lead into a social media warning. We hope Dina either got that explanation or went officially back to ignoring her DMs. But as a precaution, keep your profile private and your best friend’s DMs on priority.