Ohio anesthesiologist goes on a date with a narcissist and everything goes well. But she still vows to never meet him again: ‘We both know why you invited me’

For Cleveland-based anesthesiologist Sul H. Shin (TikTok/@sulh.shin), a recent date that seemed “nice” on the surface quickly turned into a narcissist encounter. And she’s vowed to never meet him again.

In a video viewed over 20,000 times, Sul explains why she is officially closing the door on a man even though the first date went good. Sul felt that the man treated her presence as an audience rather than a partner.

The creator also highlights the “movie night” trap and the importance of vetting a date’s curiosity before granting a second meeting.

The narcissist man ruined a ‘nice’ date by a complete lack of curiosity

Sul’s initial impression of her date was positive. He was respectful, bought drinks, and the general “vibes were there.” However, as the night progressed, she realized the conversation was entirely one-sided.

“The whole date we were just talking about him and his life experience,” she revealed. She noted that by the end of the evening, he hadn’t asked a single question about her interests or profession.

A ‘Movie Night’ request confirmed his true intentions

Despite his lack of interest in her as a person, the man texted Sul for a second date. She briefly considered giving him another chance, rationalizing that he might have just been “shy” or “nervous.” However, his follow-up proposal killed the spark.

The man invited Sul directly to his house to “watch a movie.” Sul interpreted this move as a transparent bid for intimacy rather than a real connection.

The creator is advising against ‘unearned’ second chances

Sul used her viral platform to warn others against settling for people who don’t deserve their time. She argued that if a person doesn’t know anything about you after a full date, an invitation to their home is a major red flag.

“We both know why you invited me to your house,” she remarked. She added that genuine interest should always be a prerequisite for a second date.

The psychology of the ‘Conversational Narcissist’

In social psychology, “conversational narcissism” is the tendency to take over a conversation. It means to turn the topic of social interaction to oneself, and show little interest in others.

Such behaviour is often mistaken for confidence or “talkativeness,” as Sul initially suspected. However, it often indicates a lack of empathy or a desire for validation rather than partnership.

When a conversational narcissist follows up a self-centered first date with an invitation to a private space (like a home movie night), they are often signaling that they view the other person as a “prop” for their own needs. They don’t consider them a mutual participant in a relationship.

How to vet a date’s curiosity before the second meeting

If you’re unsure if a talkative date is worth a second look, use these diagnostic tips.

First, you can try the ‘Reverse’ test. During the date, stop volunteering information. If the silence lingers or they simply start a new story about themselves, they aren’t listening.

If their second-date request is an “at-home” activity (movie, dinner at theirs), ask yourself valid questions first. “Do they know enough about me to actually enjoy my company for two hours?”

If you do give a second chance, insist on a public place. A person who is genuinely interested in you will respect the boundary. On the contrary, a person with an agenda will often flake or push back.

As Sul noted, if you feel like you’re watching a one-man show rather than participating in a fit-check, it’s time to bow out.