‘What a prat!’: Flooded British villagers despair as tractor-driving maniac destroys high street

Today the United Kingdom is woke up to a very damp Monday morning. Storm Bert has left towns across the country flooded as a deluge caused multiple rivers to burst their banks. Tenbury Wells in Worcestershire was hit particularly hard, with a wall holding back the Kyre Brook collapsing and leaving the high street lying under murky water.

That would have been bad enough to wake up to, but one person just had to go and make everything so much worse. An unidentified figure decided the flooded street was the perfect place to race their tractor down, causing a wave of filthy water that smashed windows up and down the high street and blasted through doors, helping destroy many more houses. Here’s the video, via The Guardian:

Whoever’s behind the wheel instantly became the most hated person in the county. Those viewing it are aghast, saying “oh my good god,” “what a prat,” “loads of damage…,” “what an idiot” and, perhaps more pertinently, “who is that?!”

That last question is now in the hands of the West Mercia police, who are now on the hunt for this maniac: “We’re actively investigating the incident and officers are in Tenbury Wells this morning speaking to people whose businesses and properties may have been affected, as well as reviewing additional video footage. No arrests have been made at this time.”

Presumably, it’s a matter of when and not if the driver is identified. There can only be so many tractors of that model around and the people of Tenbury aren’t going to rest until they find the person who’s singlehandedly destroyed their main shopping street. The Guardian quotes pub landlord Paul Birkin as saying “nothing would have happened to the pub if it wasn’t for the tractor. There wasn’t a drop of water in here until he drove through.”

Another business owner, Nick Harrold of beauty parlor Eternally Ageless Aesthetic dubbed the offender “the lowest person in Tenbury,” pointing to the lock that was smashed open by what he describes as a “tidal wave” generated by the tractor. Looking around his destroyed shop, he miserably said “It’s just total devastation, and possibly the end of the business.”

According to Wikipedia, Tenbury Wells has a population of just 5,224 and right now is united in seething hatred of the yahoo who just destroyed their town center. Let’s be charitable and assume that the tractor driver hadn’t realized his joyride would generate a destructive wave and was merely out for a bit of off-roading fun. Perhaps there will eventually be forgiveness after a truly contrite apology, a criminal prosecution, and some payback for their actions.

Or maybe not. Anyone who’s seen Hot Fuzz will know people in small towns hold grudges for decades, so once the justice system has dealt with this mysterious tractor-riding vandal, we’d advise them (and possibly their entire family too) to skip town and never look back. After all, a flood is one thing, but willfully destroying the local pub? It may as well be a social death sentence.