Woman tells boyfriend ‘I saw a bird today’ and waits for his reaction. The ‘bird theory’ reveals if partners actually care

A relationship test called the bird theory is going viral on TikTok. People are using it to see if their partners really care about them. The test is very simple. You point out something boring, like a bird outside, and watch how your partner reacts. Their reaction can tell you a lot about your relationship.

The bird theory, also called the bird test, first became popular on TikTok in October 2023. Since then, thousands of videos have popped up showing people, mostly women, testing their boyfriends and husbands. The test works well because everyone sees birds every day. They are not exciting unless it is a rare type. If you say “look, a bird” and your partner looks up right away with real interest, it shows they care about what you care about.

One popular video came from TikTok user royjeebiv. She told her boyfriend while he was doing dishes, “Guess what. I saw a bird. I saw a bird today. Not now, but today.” Her boyfriend said back in a nice tone, “Okay, awesome. That’s super cool.” The video showed what many people think is a perfect response. Partners who ignore you, refuse to look, or get annoyed might not care as much about the relationship.

The test actually has science behind it

The bird theory is not just another silly social media trend. It actually connects to real research about relationships. According to Today, a psychologist named John Gottman studied how couples interact. The test is based on something called bids for connection. These are small things people do to connect with others, like sharing a thought or asking a question.

Gottman found that how couples respond to these bids can show if a relationship will last. The Gottman Institute says that couples who stayed married responded well to their partner’s bids 86 percent of the time. This was measured six years after their wedding. 

Couples who got divorced only responded well 33 percent of the time. Responding well means showing interest and paying attention. Responding badly means ignoring your partner or pushing them away, kind of like how communities had to speak up when facing serious problems in their town.

The bird test shows this idea in a simple way. When someone points out a bird, they are not really asking you to look at the bird. They want to connect with you and get your attention. How you respond shows if you are paying attention and willing to join in these small moments. These small moments matter a lot over time. They build up and create a strong relationship, just like how the little things between people can reveal bigger truths.

Not everyone likes the idea of testing their partner like this. Some people on TikTok have said that couples should not give each other random tests. But relationship experts say the bird theory can help you notice how you and your partner talk to each other. It reminds people that in relationships, the little things matter the most. When you respond with interest to small comments, it shows you care about and respect your partner.