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10 Movie Heroes Who Aren’t Exactly Good People

The Guardians of the Galaxy are criminals [*manages to resist joke opportunity about the movie being criminally good]. Peter Quill is a thief and a self-confessed outlaw; Gamora is an assassin; Drax is on a campaign of continual violence and murder; Rocket Raccoon is a mercenary and an arsonist; even Groot has three counts of grievous bodily harm (although I think we all know whose fault that probably was). Whoever and whatever the Guardians become in the end – and however much their situations are not their own faults - there is no getting away from the fact that they come from pretty dubious backgrounds, and in a couple of the cases seem to have quite frankly enjoyed a lot of it. But really, do we actually want to imagine them being any other way?

Jack Sparrow – Pirates of the Caribbean

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Of all of Jack Sparrow’s (sorry, Captain – Captain Jack Sparrow) achievements, the most impressive is probably that he has managed to become as famous, if not more so, than Johnny Depp himself. (Jim Carrey was among the names originally considered for the role. Just take a moment to imagine that. Then perhaps have a stiff drink). He is also probably the most convincing argument that we like our heroes ambiguous. Jack Sparrow is one of the most beloved ‘good guys’ to have ever come out of Hollywood, yes? Now name three things Jack has done that are really, genuinely, one hundred percent good.

How’s it going?

There isn’t room here to list all of Jack’s crimes. This is partly because the franchise has now run on so long that the only explanation can be that someone at the studios keeps drinking themselves to that point at which anything – usually the same things – seems like a good idea (this, incidentally, might also explain why the rum is gone). But the main reason is that we just don’t have room.

Self-interested and self-promoting, Jack lies, cheats, steals and manipulates; he is disloyal and untrustworthy, and quite frequently uses his friends for his own purposes – or just abandons them entirely. Even when Jack does seem to be on someone’s side, he usually has his own agenda. He desperately tries to avoid shooting Will, but only because he needs his single shot; he promises Elizabeth that he will help her, but only because Elizabeth can lead him to something he needs.

But as difficult as it is to avoid how questionable Jack’s character really is, it is just as difficult to avoid liking him. For one thing, he is impressively clever. Somehow, despite the perpetual inability to stand up straight, Jack is almost always three steps ahead of any plan. He even manages to work in the odd rescue of his mates here and there along the way. (Not that he can be trusted to do that of course. King Stefan would win father of the year before Jack Sparrow could be called a reliable ally).

But really we love Jack Sparrow because – whether he likes it or not – there is a very high chance that he might just be a good man. As Barbossa says, Jack only lost The Black Pearl in the first place because of his constant attempts at non-violent solutions. And ultimately, when Will lay dying from Davy Jones’ stab wound, Jack surrendered his own immortality in order to give Will his. It was a moment we’d all been waiting for – and it was worth every second.

Jack rapidly recovered from his little foray into decency, however, and has since gone on being as cheerily treacherous and self-serving as ever (to be honest, he’s going to have to – he’s lost his other chance at immortality and by the looks of it there is a distinct danger that the Disney studios are literally never going to stop making these films. The apocalypse will come and there will be two things that survive – cockroaches, and the continual stream of new PoTC movies). But we will no doubt go on forever giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Is Jack Sparrow a hero? No. He’s a pirate.

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