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5 Romantic Comedies That Are Inexplicably Good

Allow me to take a moment to point out how absurd romantic comedies are as a genre. I don't care if I sound old and jaded and bitter. I know why the genre exists. It exists to give women some fleeting hope that some dickless fool will stand in the rain and monologue to her about how life is pointless without her. It is a genre specifically catered to lonely women, meant to make it so they can fill their sorry lives with a millimetre worth of hope that they might not die alone in their apartment some night while eating Cheetos and watching The Bachelorette.

Secretary

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All that anyone with a vagina has been talking about for the last few weeks has been the Fifty Shades trailer. Well, fuck Fifty Shades. It is poorly written fan-fiction from a woman who wants to teach other women how to properly hate themselves and find themselves in abusive relationships. It’s basically Penthouse letters for those who don’t like good writing.

But Secretary, now this is a film that gets romantic comedies right, and it gets S&M right, too. Do you realize how difficult a thing that must be to balance? I bet you don’t. To take something that is taboo and get people to laugh at it and warm up to the very idea of it is daunting, but Secretary pulls it off with ease.

Secretary is about a girl with a penchant for submissive behavior and self-harm who falls into the office (arms?) of a man who ends up being drawn to just how shy and out-of-place she seems. What unfolds next is a love story unlike any on-screen. Really. Plus, beneath the kink of it all is a very sweet love story. Some people will never know that because they won’t ever give this film a shot (as spankings make them very uncomfortable). But I implore any woman or man who wants to go see Fifty Shades to see this film first and at least understand S&M on a more healthy level.

Side-note: if you are a woman who is into signing a sexual contract that lets me have absolute control over you, we should hang out some time. I love self-loathers.

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