A 30% rotten Christmas disaster that failed at the box office sets a naughty little record on streaming

Look, I get it; Dwayne Johnson’s silver screen status echoes that of the action movie stars of yore, and perhaps evokes some pseudo-nostalgia for the days when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were regularly bossing the big screen; indeed, at the sight of Johnson’s khaki-clad calves, movies might seem like big, explosive popcorn fare again.

Except Rambo, Rocky, The Running Man, and Terminator were all intelligent stories simply masquerading as big explosive popcorn fare, while Red One — the latest iteration of Johnson’s Xerox of an acting career — is a dreary CGI festival that’s constantly at war with its own existence. And yet, the suits are convinced it’s the future.

Why? Because after hauling in $175.5 million at the box office on a $250 million production budget, Red One found itself pulling double duty in theaters and on Prime Video, the latter of which has been the site of a four-day viewership draw numbering 50 million; the highest-ever for a film’s first weekend on the streamer.

Per Variety, Amazon MGM Studios Jennifer Salke spoke to the strategy inherent to releasing Red One on streaming in the middle of its theatrical run.

Given the audience response to Red One both in theaters and on Prime Video, the film will clearly be a perennial holiday favorite for years to come. Every film is different, and we are so grateful for the partnership with our filmmakers in collectively finding the right strategy to get this film in front of the widest possible audience. With Red One, there was no doubt that strategy needed to include a theatrical release and associated marketing campaign, which drove audiences to theaters and generated awareness for the film with viewers who would ultimately tune in on Prime Video. It’s rewarding to see our plan pay off for customers, and we are incredibly thankful to the entire filmmaking team and cast who helped make it happen.

Intentionally or not, it is an ominous and sinister development in the world of film if the suits can not only convince themselves that Red One is destined for “favorite” status, but that this is in any way a payoff for the customers.

Jennifer, nobody is watching Red One sincerely. They can’t, because Red One does not want to be watched sincerely. It wants you to take it seriously, but also laugh at how ridiculous the proceedings are, and not once does it give you the space to do either of those things on your own terms. It moves through plot beats like a checklist, and none of them are tied to any real emotion; Dwayne Johnson’s protagonist begins the movie with a crisis of faith in Christmas, and ends the movie with a restored faith for no other reason than the movie being over.

So you can keep your viewership records and box office totals, but do not, for one second, think that numbers alone are capable of identifying an instant classic. MGM is playing a relevance game while believing it’s a substitute for remembrance, a fact they’d do well to remember when Red One‘s relevance fizzles out in a month or two, all while decades-old anthems of sincerity persist as brightly as they have for years.