A Remake Nobody Wanted, Needed, or Even Remotely Hits the Streaming Top 10
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private-property
via Lionsgate

A remake nobody wanted, needed, asked for, or even remotely liked hoodwinks the streaming Top 10

There's a light panning, and then there's being critically buried six feet under.

The era of remakes is never going to be over as Hollywood continues to cannibalize itself, and while more than a few have justified their own existences and then some, this year’s Private Property most definitely has not.

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To be fair, the 1960 comedy of the same name is hardly a household name, and it was even considered lost forever after spending 30 years out of circulation. However, a print was discovered, restored, and re-released, which found the crime caper reemerge from the depths of cinematic purgatory to score a brand new lease of life and no shortage of rave reviews.

private-property
via Lionsgate

Naturally, the decision was made to mount a new version with Ashley Benson and Shiloh Fernandez in the lead roles as unhappy housewife Kathryn and handsome gardener Ben. As you can imagine, sparks instantly fly and they begin falling head over heels for each other, but the disarmingly charming help turns out to be harboring a secret or two.

Without being too unfairly harsh on writer and director Chadd Harbold, nobody wanted, asked for, or remotely needed a 2022 spin on Private Property, something that was underlined dramatically by the responses to its release in May. On Rotten Tomatoes, it holds a zero percent critical score and a 19 percent audience rating, to go along with a 4/10 average on IMDb. Yeesh.

And yet, even an absolute drubbing from all parties hasn’t been able to stop the universally-loathed and completely unnecessary remake from securing a spot on the Hulu charts this week, with FlixPatrol revealing that it’s inexplicably become the eighth most-watched title on the platform. Clearly, nobody’s been paying heed to the consensus.


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Scott Campbell
News, reviews, interviews. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves: Words. Lots of words.