Can someone please lock up all of George A. Romero’s zombie properties so people will stop remaking them? Honestly, the only decent remake out of the bunch has been Zack Snyder’s Dawn Of The Dead, as the rest have been nothing but unwanted hack-jobs which don’t hold an ounce of relevance next to anything The Zombie Godfather has made.
So what’s the most recent remake that Romero fans are going to be tortured with? Why none other than 1985’s Day Of The Dead, which has already suffered a recent remake defacing.
What, you don’t remember back to 2008 when director Steve Miner assembled a crack cast including Nick Cannon, Mena Suvari, and a misused Ving Rhames, then courageously attempted to remake the final film in Romero’s Living Dead trilogy? Good, you shouldn’t, because it was complete garbage that made me embarrassed to be a zombie genre fan. Ugh, did I really just have to recall that moment in my life? Bet you didn’t know they tried to make a sequel/prequel called Day Of The Dead 2: Contagium back in 2005, too. Guess how well that was received. F#ck it, I’ll tell you – worse than I Love You Phillip Morris at a Westboro Baptist Church rally.
Don’t worry though, much better care will be taken this time around with Romero’s material – wait, no it won’t. Behind the picture are Millennium Films and Campbell Grobman Films, with Millennium Films being part of the team who brought us this year’s abysmal Leatherface sequel, Texas Chainsaw 3D. Um, we should trust them with Romero’s material why? Oh, but I’m not even done yet. To make matters worse, our producers are already eyeing a 2014 release date, meaning they’ll be holding down Fast Forward through every part of production.
Sorry, I always try to leave bias out when I’m reporting news, but can you really blame me? I’m a horror fan to the end, and if you’re a horror fan like me, you already know the love/hate relationship we have with remakes and reboots. We’ve been lucky this year, getting brilliant redos in both Evil Dead and Maniac, but literally nothing about this story makes me think Day Of The Dead will be another confidence-boosting hit.
Alright, let me just wrap up my sulking and restate the fact that some of the producers of Texas Chainsaw 3D are hellbent on putting a remake of George A. Romero’s Day Of The Dead in theaters sometime during the year 2014. Why? Because it’ll most likely be cheap to make and will unfortunately turn a profit pretty easily at the box office, promoting such behavior in the future. Whatever, I need to start thinking positive thoughts before the horror fan in me dies completely.
Mmmm…so many potentially killer horror films left this year. The Conjuring, You’re Next, Insidious 2, Curse Of Chucky…yup, that’s better! Day of the what now?