“Ah, we have such tweets to show you!” Remember when Pinhead said that in Hellraiser back in the day? No? Oh, right, that line might be in the possible near-future reboot that multiple studios have threatened over the last few years. Well apparently, the internet is still hungry for some fresh cenobite action, and Doctor Strange director Scott Derrickson is the new target of this insatiable media machine, after he posted a humorous meme riffing on the Lament Configuration, the MacGuffin of the Hellraiser series.
One of the silly things is that the post is trademarked in 2016, which, let me check my notes…is, like, three years ago? I’m no PR expert, but I feel like they’d make a new awesome meme for the kids to passively absorb rather than reusing old material. Secondly, per my minimalist SEO experience, there was nary a hashtag in sight indicating this was anything more than a guy posting a thing he thought was funny or cute. Where’s the #ComingSoon or #FigureMeOut or #ImAPinhead ya know? Get with the picture!
— N O S ⋊ Ɔ I ᴚ ᴚ Ǝ ᗡ ⊥ ⊥ O Ɔ S (@scottderrickson) April 16, 2019
But, on second thought, Derrickson would be one of the best choices to try and resurrect this series in which resurrection is a key happening. The director does have a decent bit of horror experience, after all, helming The Exorcism of Emily Rose back in 2005 and then Sinister in 2012. His visual panache and stylistic effects expertise would be needed in order to craft a true, new horror that could stand out among a crowded, teen-friendly field. I do wonder about his experience with practical effects but heck, studios don’t pay for those anymore anyways!
Oh, also, Derrickson has already directed Hellraiser: Inferno in 2000, the first (and arguably best) of the direct-to-DVD titles that have plagued the series since Bloodlines‘ failure in 1996. Yeah, that’d be super fun, huh? Letting a director come back after two decades to make a real, non-cheap knockoff?
And to think, all this speculating came from the sharing of one, simple meme from three years ago. I love the web! And I love Hellraiser. I’m raising my hopes, but I won’t cry if this doesn’t happen, because that would just be a waste of good suffering.