8) Ouija
Oh boy, another movie based on a childhood toy – because Battleship fared so well, right?
While I did hold a tiny sliver of hope that Ouija would provide some bits of fun, this was just yet another film that furthered Blumhouse’s torrid 2014 cold-streak while keeping Platinum Dunes’ reputation unfortunately consistent. The game itself was a nice touch, summoning an evil being through the playful medium, but the horror itself is nothing but stupid child’s play and even worse circumstantial decisions.
Like most braindead genre flicks, Ouija exists in a world where no one has ever seen a horror movie before, which stages some atrociously unforgivable scenes where characters ensure their own deaths. Case and point – Daren Kagasoff intensely rides his bike around town only to stop at what could be the shadiest, most ominous underpass for a thousand miles. He doesn’t die here, but seeks out a haunt for seemingly no reason at all. It’s the equivalent of a midnight trip to Camp Crystal Lake for a little rest and relaxation.
I think the following quote from my review sums this one up best:
Ouija is like going to Gordon Ramsay’s flagship restaurant for dinner and being served nothing but frozen entrees. What? You asked for dinner, and the restaurant delivered exactly that.