Imagine finding yourself gliding down the highway with the windows rolled all the way down only to look to your right and see an unmasked and loose Michael Myers driving in a car beside you. Of course, he would obviously look much different than when he was the 6-year-old who murdered his older sister, but it would certainly still be a sight for sore eyes. That scenario would almost feel incredibly far-fetched if it were not canon that the iconic horror slasher can actually drive. Yes, that’s right, Michael Myers could have made a Fast X cameo if needed.
As I was watching the original Halloween with my fiancée the other night, it stopped me dead in my tracks when I actually took the time to think about Michael driving a car. Of course, as a lifelong Halloween fan, I’ve seen the horror classic countless times in my 28 years of life, but the thought never hit me as hard as it did this time around.
Granted, I wasn’t alive 45 years ago when John Carpenter’s horror masterpiece first released, but the shock value of The Shape behind the wheel still makes my spine shiver. Not only that, but it continues to make me scratch my head in disbelief of how one of the most ruthless slasher villains ever learned how to street a car without crashing.
And yes, you might be saying to yourself: “Well, the facts are there already, somebody taught him how to drive.” More specifically, it has long been believed within the Halloween lore that either Dr. Wynn — who appears in the original movie and is later reintroduced in the lackluster sequels — or one of his associates from the Cult of Thorn taught Michael how to drive during his time at Smith’s Grove Sanitarium.
Interestingly enough, the novelization of Halloween has alternatively suggested that Michael learned how to drive by watching Dr. Sam Loomis during numerous visits to court hearings after Michael was confirmed to have slain his sister Judith. This theory certainly isn’t unreasonable, of course, seeing as a lot of us have picked up the knowledge of learning how to drive by watching our parents when we’re kids. Most of us didn’t then hijack a car and embark on a massive murder spree, but still.
However, in the original Halloween, Dr. Loomis supports the idea that Michael was taught how to drive, with him angrily exclaiming: “Maybe someone around here gave him lessons!” Now if that isn’t a modern-day Sherlock Holmes discovery, then we don’t know what is.
The true kicker of it all is that he even uses his turn signals and even looks both ways before turning, as seen in this absolutely hilarious clip from TikTok:
So not only is he extremely conscientious about turn signals and getting to where he needs to go — which involves getting to wherever Laurie Strode is to strategically murder her — but he also prides himself on being a safe driver and looking both ways before endangering the lives of others. So call me crazy, but perhaps Michael isn’t as devious as we think. After all, how many horror icons do you know of that will look both ways in the car before making a turn?
