Most of our feline friends are known as having nine lives, are they not? I don’t think Tom Hooper’s take on Cats will have any left to spare by the end of the month though, if I’m being honest. Already a massive flop, being both critically panned and financially devastating, the five people who actually sat through the movie are finding more and more misses by the VFX crew, including Judi Dench’s very human hand and very shiny wedding ring.
Since the get-go, the computer graphics work on the film has seemed lackluster. That first teaser, the one that sent shockwaves through the internet and awoke some truly ancient evils, looked terrible. Now, it just seems like the movie is entirely unfinished. I mean, just look at this screenshot from Twitter user Jenelle Riley:
Apparently, Universal is aware of the issue and have sent a memo to thousands of theaters, stating the following:
“DCDC and Deluxe-Technicolor will be sending updated FTR-20 SMPTE DCPs of Cats which will include some improved visual effects. The runtime is unchanged.”
What’s with studios rushing products and releasing unfinished movies that look like trash lately? Between this, Sonic the Hedgehog and Justice League, why even bother with CGI at all? Remember back in the day, when directors had craftsman make props and sets and then hired people to stage elaborate stunts on the aforementioned sets using the aforementioned props? And then maybe augment that stuff with some rotoscoping or fancy editing?
Do you know why the stage play of Cats works? Because it’s kinda silly, and it knows it. The makeup is gaudy, the songs are bawdy, and oh lawdy is it over the top. Andrew Lloyd Webber is not a deep man. He’s a surface level showman. He could craft a goofy spectacle that lacked any substance, but it’d still be a fun romp about a bunch of singing felines. Tom Hooper? He’s a Very Serious Man (TM). Also, how in the world does he have an Oscar when David Fincher has none? Gross.
Sorry if this article was mean. I’m just feel-ine a lil’ catty, tee hee! Oh gosh, I tickle myself sometimes, just like I tickle my cat, Carol! She’s way better than any live-action adaptation of Cats could ever be, especially one with busted effects.
