The 6 Most Disappointing Movies Of 2014

Annabelle

Hey, remember that movie The Conjuring? Remember how it was pretty creepy and based on a true story? Do you also remember how the intro sequence to the film featured the possessed doll, Annabelle? It worked really well with the movie because director James Wan delegated the possessed doll to five minutes of screen time. Why did he do that? Because if you take even ten seconds longer than that to think about a possessed doll rationally, you realize that there is nothing scary about it (unless you are a child). Even the Child’s Play movies, as fun as they are, are still just that. Fun. Not scary.

So, imagine how well it worked when the people who made The Conjuring thought they might be able to get lightning to strike twice by making a sort of prequel to the original that focused solely on the possessed doll? I’ll tell you: It didn’t work, that is how well it worked.

Keep in mind that even going into this, I had the sinking feeling that Annabelle might suck. Still, I tried walking into it with high hopes and gave it the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, it was sort of a fluke that the first movie even worked. It had many elements we had seen before, but somehow, it all clicked. The same cannot be said for the cliche fest that was Annabelle, however.

So, what was so bad about it? Everything, really. The story was dull, the doll wasn’t scary, the acting was as lifeless as the scares, and the film tried to leave it all open ended, even though we know the “real doll” is locked away and blah blah blah.

Listen, dolls are kind of scary by themselves. Horror has known and used this for years. The problem is, we are at a point in horror where it has all been done before, and done better. You want to watch some “scary doll” movies that actually work? See Magic with Anthony Hopkins, or see the 90’s cult classic, Pin. Just trust me. Those are some scary ass dolls.

Annabelle, on the other hand, could have been played by Kristen Stewart and I would not have noticed. THAT is how wooden this film is. Not just the doll. The whole fucking film.