5) Transformers: The Last Knight
Just as our eyes and ears have begun to recover from the assault by chapter four of the reprehensible Transformers film series, explosive enthusiast Michael Bay unleashes another sequel upon our trembling senses. Mark Wahlberg and Stanley Tucci will star, among others, and the selection of uncharismatic autobots like Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and Hound are due to appear right alongside them.
The Last Knight is a particularly cruel title as it suggests the franchise is finally waving us goodbye. But no such luck. There’s already a Bumblebee spinoff in production for 2018, and yet another Transformers flick is being prepared for the year after that. As long as the movies continue to bring in billions, directors will keep getting behind the camera to shoot more – but not perhaps not Bay himself. The man who has steered the series since its birth is set to step down after The Last Knight, but the rest of the crew are seemingly content to trudge on without him.
The hordes of cinemagoers who have revelled in all the roaring noise and chaotic action sequences for the better part of a decade are probably going to be coming back for The Last Knight. There are a lot of people looking forward to it, to be sure, but not us. The first four Transformers were trash, and it’d be a minor miracle if the fifth instalment proved to be anything other than another exhausting debacle.