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9 Movies We’re Absolutely Dreading This Year

The average person gets to pick and choose their films. Critics, however, don’t have that luxury. Although, given the job description, many would concur that it’s a small price to pay. Any critic worth their salt walks into the cinema with an open mind, and emerges from the darkened room with a painfully honest assessment of their experience. Candidness is key to great criticism, and the brilliant writers of days gone by have previously rushed to support this theory. If you didn’t like a film that everybody else did – admit it.

2) Who The F#@k Took My Daughter?

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Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer – the duo behind Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet The Spartans, etc. – are not so much movie directors as they are con artists. And, for a depressingly long time, people fell for their ploy. The double act sold shit and made millions.

A pair of ghostlike figures (who’ve shirked the limelight and refused to participate in interviews since establishing themselves as chief operators on the junk movie assembly line), Friedberg and Seltzer mercilessly haunted cinema throughout the noughties, and the chilling rumour that they are about to return is perhaps the most terrifying horror story we’re likely to hear during 2017.

It was a relief to see their box office figures finally dwindling, but reports of another upcoming project titled “Who The F#@k Took My Daughter” suggests the twosome aren’t done yet. Their uncanny timing for creating culturally irrelevant spoof movies is apparently still alive and well though, with this latest offering set to parody the Taken films, before no doubt wandering off into unrelated territory to feebly lampoon some other flicks that everyone else has long since forgotten about.

There’s no confirmed release date yet, although there are rumblings that we could see it a few months down the line. Is there anybody out there who’s actually still interested in these lame-brained parodies, anyway? At least Who The F#@k Took My Daughter will help us to answer that question, if nothing else.

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