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slotherhouse
Image via Gravitas Ventures

Not only is a slasher movie about a murderous sloth a real thing, it even has a suitably insane trailer

'Cocaine Bear' has a lot to answer for.

The legacy left behind by Cocaine Bear appears to be that of animals – drug-addled or otherwise – become the protagonists of bloodthirsty horror movies, with Slotherhouse the latest to follow in the footsteps of such luminaries as Attack of the Meth Gator and Crackcoon.

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For reasons unexplained, somebody thought it was a good idea to make an entire film about a college student who adopts a sloth named Alpha and decided to name it as the honorary president of her sorority. Strangely, though, the bodies begin piling up with alarming regularity, raising questions as to who – or what – could be behind such heinous acts.

Naturally, one of the slowest-moving creatures in the animal kingdom is responsible, leading to the suitably unhinged sight of a goddamned sloth going on a murder spree, because why the hell not. If that hasn’t piqued your interest on Slotherhouse just yet, then maybe the first trailer will.

It looks exactly as cheap and nasty as you’d expect any feature focusing on the razor-sharp claws of the lazy mammal being used as weapons of dismemberment to be, and it would be safe to say this is one for the midnight madness crowd and barely anybody else.

Starring Lisa Ambalavanar, Sydney Craven, Olivia Rouyre, Bianca Beckles-Rose, Andrew Horton, Sutter Nolan, Grace Patterson, Milica Vrzić, Annamaria Serda, Tiff Stevenson, Stefan Kapičić, Kelly Lynn Reiter, and Rudi Rok as the voice of Alpha the sloth, director Matthew Goodhue’s batsh*t slasher is even getting a theatrical release on Aug. 30, so you’ll need to be ironically quick to catch it on the big screen.


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Scott Campbell
News, reviews, interviews. To paraphrase Keanu Reeves; Words. Lots of words.