There’s no arguing it: Karl Urban is really, really cool. Let’s take things backwards a little. Remember that time I mentioned in an article that the Drazonzord from Power Rangers would make an awesome Jaeger in Pacific Rim 2: The Two Jakes? Well, something else that happens with striking regularity in Power Rangers is the gigantation of regular-sized folk so they can go head to head with the Rangers’ ‘zords. Ain’t no reason I can think of why the same logic-free technology couldn’t be implemented into a Pacific Rim sequel – after all, this is from the team that tried with a similar disdain for logic to sell us Charlie Hunnam as an action star, and Charlie Day as a movie star – just in general – and Karl Urban would seem a sensible choice to go head to head with giant monsters (and, in a possible twist… ROGUE JAEGERS THEMSELVES) in whatever choice of fancy duds he so chose.
Better still, he could be piloted by any number of actors (from Robert Forster to Bridgette Wilson by way of Barry Burton) who’d sit in his hair like that little guy in Ratatouille. You could essentially turn Pacific Rim Too into a buddy film in which a giant Karl Urban leads a selection of pop culture’s greatest robots into the heart of the sea, deepest space and beyond to fight indistinguishable squishy giants, set to an original rock opera score by Beyonce and Jay-Z and brought to you by Slim Jims. I can’t – I CANNOT – think of anything I want to see more.
So there you have it. Five ways in which you could Make A Pacific Rim Sequel Worth Our Time, Hollywood.
God knows that’s five more than the first film has.
Got any suggestions for robots (or, as established, just giant versions of existing human actors) you’d like to see in Pacific Rim 2: The One With Alfred Molina In It? Let us know in the comments section, or better yet, bombard the offices of Hollywood with them, and we’ll show ‘em how to make a movie people REALLY wanna see.