Poster Of Hunky Wet Men In Leather; It Must Be 300: Rise Of An Empire

I have this weird affection for Zack Snyder’s epic 300, based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel of the same name. I mean, the dialogue was atrocious and the politics/acting/directing really left something to be desired, but … Gerard Butler and Michael Fassbender in leather bikinis! So it is with some trepidation and a little bit of girly excitement that I write this, in celebration of the arrival of the first poster for the 300 sequel, 300: Rise Of An Empire.

It is as to be expected: a soldier in the rain, wearing very little but his helmet and his requisite leather bikini. He must be very cold. It’s stylized and completely in keeping with the original 300, which certainly had style going for it, if little else. A convincing, if more or less expected, preview of what Snyder and his merry band have in store for us.

300: Rise Of An Empire is based on Xerxes, Frank Miller’s follow-up to 300, and roughly parallels (then presumably exceeds) the events of the first film. Sullivan Stapleton is Themistokles, a Greek general warring against the Persian army led by that fabulous “God-King” Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro, sparkling all over). Eva Green joins the cast as Artemesia, with Lena Headey back again as Queen Gorgo. And the rest, as they say, is highly questionable history.

We can expect more of the same stylized violence and crazy lines – though I’m not certain whether ‘This is Sparta!’ or ‘Fight against tyranny and mysticism!’ can possibly be beat. There will also, of course, be the requisite nearly naked soldiers fighting CGI lobster-men and ninjas, or whatever the hell happened in 300. I cannot wait. For real, it is going to be a riot.

300: Rise Of An Empire hits theatres in every conceivable format on August 2, 2013. Until then, check out the first poster below and think about how very awesome this movie has to be.