One of the more interesting side-stories from every years’ Oscars is what’s in the nominee gift bags. Getting something inside of these exclusive freebies is a marketing department’s dream, with a handful of samples paying off dividends if A-list stars casually endorse them.
This year, The Hollywood Reporter is claiming that the 2022 bags are worth a colossal $133,000. The claim comes via Distinctive Assets, which assembles the bags and whose founder, Lash Fary, said:
“We are not only celebrating these incredible nominees but also a return to normalcy in a post-pandemic world.”
What better way to mark the end of a brutal pandemic than by giving millionaires getting golden bags full of free stuff? This sentiment has been echoed all over social media:
Piers Morgan led the charge by asking the nominees to donate them to help Ukrainian refugees.
Scottish journalist Lesley Riddoch says “Scotland is not a trinket”:
@GenerationVoid says retail workers have far better acting chops from having to be nice to annoying customers:
And @MatsPips says this is a perfect example of the “shocking wealth divide” in the world:
But is what’s inside really worth that much? Here’s what the nominees got, per THR:
An all-inclusive stay at Turin Castle, Scotland and the right to call yourself a Lord or Lady of Glencoe
Flavor Wrapped Popcorn Kernels from Opopop;
Biscuits and wafers from Bahlsen Biscuits;
Nano-Amplified CBD Skincare from HempHera Kosmetikos;
SpermidineLIFE supplements by Longevity Labs;
Skin care creams from Byroe;
Gold-infused olive oil;
Art Lipo body enhancements;
C60 Purple Power antioxidants;
Chai Box tea sets;
Coal and Canary luxury wood-wick candles;
Comvita UMF 10+ Manuka Honey;
Facial rejuvenation procedures;
Personal training from Diego Sebastian’s DS Raw Fitness;
Elixinol Sleep Gummies;
Euka wellness kits;
Pins & accessories by The Film Pin Society.
Stays at the Golden Door resort;
Exploding Kittens board game;
Holistic healing with Kayote Joseph;
Maison Construction project management;
NutriFit meal deliver;
Happiest Tee designs;
Oxygenetix breathable foundation;
A “SeaWorld Blows” inflatable Orca from PETA;
Piper & Perro luxury unisex fragrance;
Self Love with Nicola coaching session;
Serucell cellular protein anti-aging serum;
Award-winning Siempre Tequila Plata;
Soul Shropshire Relax Diffuser;
Tree by Melina Sempill Watts;
Artist series Trust Me Vodka;
Jayde Home Essentials;
Karma Nuts;
T-Time Products Interpersonal Shea Butter Balm;
TurboFlex Eyewear with a patented 360° rotating hinge;
Posh Pretzels;
Warmies microwavable stuffed animals;
Press Premium Alcohol Seltzer;
Vahdam India stylish Rover Bottle;
Shinery’s Radiance Wash;
Skinny SBU Socks;
S. Pellegrino gift box;
Tangle Teezer;
Whipped Drinks whipped coffee kits;
Fudgiest Brownies Ever from Wunderkeks;
The Wizard’s Wish by Brad Yates;
Building a Legacy of Love by Christy Yates;
YOUTH anti-blemish concentrate
Whether all that really adds up to $133,000 worth of stuff is up for debate. The best highlights on offer here are the free holidays in Scotland and at the Golden Door resort. The rest is largely overpriced skincare stuff and booze, but I guess Hollywood A-listers do have to fight the aging process as much as possible — and the alcohol will help them drown out the knowledge that no matter how much fancy cream they slather on, time inexorably marches forwards.
But we suppose few could really turn their nose up at popcorn, brownies, pretzels, and some fancy biscuits. The more fun stuff like the Exploding Kittens board game is also quite a nice freebie.
The low point is the frankly cringeworthy offer of a free Lord or Lady title. We would be surprised if any of the nominees actually took them up on the offer, as technically being the titled owner of a tiny square of Scotland is unlikely to impress anyone at a swanky Hollywood party.
After what went down on stage this year, I suspect the 2024 nominees may see a mouthguard, ice pack, and ibuprofen included in their goodie bags.