Grab your spellbooks, potions, and brooms, and prepare to gather round, sistas. The pinnacle of spooky season is here, which means there’s no better moment to dive into everything Sanderson with Disney’s Halloween classic, Hocus Pocus.
The iconic movie tells the story of three witches who were hanged in Salem after being discovered, and the story might have drawn to a quick conclusion there, but they managed to cast a spell before their public execution that allowed them a specific window of opportunity to come back. On Halloween night, if the moon was full and a virgin lit the black flame candle, Sarah, Mary, and Winifred Sanderson would come back and continue their hunt to take the lives of the children in Salem.
Why did they want to take the lives of children? For their youth, of course. The Sanderson sisters wished to live forever, and they needed the innocence of youth to make that a possibility, so when a virgin finally lit the black flame candle during a full moon on Halloween, the witches came back — albeit a bit worse for wear. With a desire for eternal life and beauty to boot, they began their journey once more, and that, my friends, is where the magic starts.
It comes as no surprise to fans of all things spooky that Hocus Pocus isn’t just one of the most beloved Halloween family movies. With that, it’s also one of the most quoted. With a slew of characters to both love and loathe, a storyline that’ll make you cry despite your best attempts not to, and just the right amount of spell-casting to make you feel like you’re part of the journey, Hocus Pocus is deeply intertwined into the fabric of pop culture fanatics everywhere.
If you want to talk like a Sanderson, or perhaps like a Max or Dani, we’ve got just what you need: 15 of the best quotes from our favorite witchy movie. Come, we fly!
“Max likes your yabos, in fact — he loves ’em.”
Nothing like a little sister calling you out, especially when she caught you ranting and raving about the girl you happen to run into while trick-or-treating.
“I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light a candle.”
Max can’t catch a break after being the virgin that lit the candle.
“They’re very health-conscious in Los Angeles.”
Ice and Jay are two stereotypical bullies, and when they try to give Max a hard time, they end up serving up some memorable one-liners — like this one.
“It’s the chocolate-covered finger of a man named Clark!”
Did anyone else laugh hysterically with this one? It’s a mix of Mary’s persona, and the innocence that shines through that makes this one stand out.
“I am beautiful; boys will love me.”
Have you ever dyed your hair, found the perfect lipstick, or woke up feeling like the star of your very own movie? This is what Sarah is feeling at this moment.
“I shall always be with you.”
So, anytime we got to the movies, my son and his friends always look at “Miss Ashley” to see what part of the movie will inevitably make me cry. It happens during everything we go watch; in Hocus Pocus, it was this moment.
“…We cease to exist! Dost thou comprehend?”
Have you ever wanted to “per my last e-mail” someone, or perhaps “I apologize if I was unclear” someone? This is Winifred’s way of doing just that.
“I’ll always take care of you, and my children will take care of you too, and their children after that, and their children after that. Forever and ever.”
This one goes down in history as another one of those “look at Ashley, she’s crying” moments.
“It doesn’t matter how young or old you are; you sold your soul! You’re the ugliest thing that ever lived, and you know it!”
If you want to talk about a line in this movie that just cuts deep, it’s this one. The witches hate being called ugly (it’s relatable, okay?), and when Dani calls Winifred out of her name, she certainly isn’t happy about it.
“Oh, come on, it’s just a bunch of hocus pocus.”
Much like “hold my beer,” these infamous words were the precursor to something outlandish and otherworldly.
“Mary, take me to the window, I wish to say goodbye. Goodbye, cruel world.”
We’ve all felt this level of drama before, right? Like getting a paper cut or stubbing your toe; after that, it’s just time to say goodbye.
“You hags! There are not enough children in the world to make thee young and beautiful!”
Again, with the young and beautiful jabs, Binx played this one perfectly.
“It’s a full moon outside; the weirdos are out.”
Dani is trying with all of her might to get Max to take her trick-or-treating, and this isn’t the first spooky season movie that talks about weirdos and the full moon!
“I put a spell on you, and now you’re mine.”
Okay, this one is more a song than a quote, but it’s iconic, and it had to make the list. They’re putting the adults of Salem under a spell, and doing so with a catchy tune.
“Oh, look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick!”
We’ve all had these days where the idea of a glorious morning is the opposite of what your soul wants. Where are our rainy and dreary mornings? Why must it be glorious when we’re just not feeling it? No, thank you.
