The 15 best ‘Home Alone’ quotes

If you’re like the rest of us, then you’re probably feeling just as old the minute you found out Home Alone turned 33-years-old this year. As utterly captivating and hilariously entertaining as the festive film truly is, there’s simply no denying that one specific element from the movie sticks out from the rest — and that’s the film’s endless assortment of quotes.

For us passionate film buffs, watching a movie and being able to recite each quote along with our friends and family is often the greatest joy in watching along with others. For some, it’s a self-proclaimed past-time that is passed down through generations, with moviegoers everywhere learning lines of dialogue from movies and repeating them in all situations. That being said, the 1990 Christmas classic is undoubtedly chock-full of some of the most memorable quotes in cinematic history. 

So, let’s dive in and showcase the 15 best quotes from Home Alone, ya filthy animals.

“Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs?”

I mean, is this not a logical question? With his sleigh working overtime all night and loaded with a variety of gifts, who knows what Santa could be hiding in those red sacks?! Logical or not, it’s undoubtedly one of the film’s best quotes.

“Beat that, you little trout-sniffer.”

You can always count on Kevin’s older brother Buzz to be a complete brown-noser who somehow wins over his parents every time with some fabricated apology or excuse. So when the time comes for Buzz and Kevin to fully apologize to the family for starting a brawl, Buzz delivers a phony apology while calling Kevin a “trout sniffer” under his breath. Simply iconic.

“Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?”

Plenty of ridiculous stunts and homemade pranks stopped burglars Harry and Marv in their path, but no other encounter is as funny as when the two of them meet up after successfully breaking into the McCallister home. Upon Marv asking Harry why he took his shoes off, Marv immediately asks why Harry is dressed like a chicken — both instances which were caused by Kevin’s booby traps.

“I made my family disappear.”

For those familiar with the insanity in Home Alone, this quote from Kevin officially marks his brief celebration upon realizing that his family is nowhere to be found. Of course, the celebration is incredibly short-lived when the burglars start sniffing around, but the small fraction of freedom is still entertaining to witness.

“Have a good trip, bring me back something French!”

OK, admittedly, this is one of my favorite quotes from the movie. While this line is essentially meaningless and echoed by a minor side character, the delivery is comedic gold and leaves me in stitches every time. Imagine your nosy, kid neighbor going through your bag and annoying the airport van drivers only to insist you bring him something back from your vacation. Just hilarious.

“I just want my family back.”

As hilarious as Home Alone is for the wacky pranks and gut-busting comedy, some of its greatest moments occur when emotion and familial importance is showcased. After Kevin experiences time alone without his family around, he begins to miss his loud house and overbearing family, even if they get on his nerves sometimes. So when he encounters a fake Santa, he asks if the real Santa Claus can bring his family back.

“Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi!”

It’s certainly no secret that Kevin despised his family on most occasions, although few seemed to ruffle his feathers as badly as his younger cousin Fuller. This line of dialogue happens when the camera pans to Fuller as he quickly gulps down an entire can of Pepsi. And seeing as he’s already known as a bedwetter, that doesn’t leave Kevin feeling too thrilled about sharing a bed with him.

“You’re what the French call les incompetents.”

Who doesn’t appreciate a good ole’ fashion French lesson? As the entire McCallister family are scattered around the house trying to pack before their huge trip to Paris, Kevin finds himself roaming around in the hopes that somebody will pack his suitcase for him, leading his sister Linnie to flat out insist that Kevin is incompetent. It’s a quote that my family personally echoes every year when we watch.

“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!”

Once again, when you’ve got a villain-esque brother like Buzz in your life, who needs actual enemies? After realizing that Fuller is downing cans of Pepsi left and right, Kevin desperately tries to avoid sharing a bed with him by asking Buzz if he can sleep in his room for the night, leading Buzz to completely crush that idea in an instant.

“This is my house. I have to defend it.”

Would it be corny to state that this piece of dialogue always gives me chills? Oh well, it’s the truth. Once Kevin exits church and realizes that Marv and Harry plan on targeting his house that night, Kevin unapologetically and passionately insists that since he’s the man of the house for the time being, it’s his job to defend his family home and keep their property safe. In my opinion, it’s truly a sign of strong character development in Kevin.

“You’re never too old to be afraid.”

Leave it to the McCallister’s neighbor to bestow a golden token of wisdom. In the beginning of the movie, Buzz and Kevin are convinced that their neighbor Marley is a serial killer, although Kevin comes to learn that he’s actually a sweet, reserved, wise older gentleman who cares for his granddaughter and offers necessary help to Kevin when he’s captured by Harry and Marv.

“Look what you did, you little jerk.”

Nobody ever said Uncle Frank was very kind, and that fact undoubtedly shows when Frank outright calls his nephew a “little jerk” in front of the entire family after getting into a scuffle with Buzz. Now, I’m not saying Kevin was right in causing an entire meltdown and spilling milk and soda all over the passports, but Buzz also didn’t need to eat the last slice of cheese pizza, and Frank definitely didn’t need to pick on a literal child.

“Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!”

Yep, we all know this scene extremely well — it’s when Kevin barges into Buzz’s room while he’s gone and starts rifling through his personal belongings. Amidst finding money and a BB gun, Kevin comes across a picture of Buzz’s “girlfriend” — which is actually the art director’s son dressed in female clothing. It’s hard to not place this quote at the top of the list, seeing as it’s so unbelievably hilarious.

“KEVIN!”

This one should hardly come as a surprise, honestly, seeing as this is arguably one of the greatest quotes from the movie. Upon realizing that her youngest son Kevin has been left at home while the rest of the family is on a plane to Paris, Kevin’s mom shouts in agony on the airplane the minute she comprehends the situation. It’s certainly a moment that would happen to many mothers as they realize their baby is far away from them.

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”

Was anybody else as surprised as I was when I learned that the movie playing in Home Alone isn’t actually a real film? To this day, that very fact leaves me dumbfounded, especially since this magical line of dialogue is echoed during a memorable scene in the faux movie. The “filthy animal” line is recurring throughout the first two Home Alone movies, which honestly makes this line that much better and easily the best quote from the original Christmas classic.