The first of 3 consecutive failed franchise-launching flops (with a 4th on the way) ushers in the definition of insanity on streaming

Realistically, you’d have thought Paramount would have learned its lesson by now after attempts to launch G.I. Joe as a reliable franchise failed three times over, with audiences failing to make it any clearer that they simply aren’t interested in the slightest.

And yet, a light bulb went off in somebody’s head in the boardroom, with this summer’s Transformers: Rise of the Beasts concluding with the tease for a crossover that guarantees the Joes a fourth bite at the cherry. The downside is that Steven Caple Jr.’s blockbuster became the lowest-grossing entry in its own saga for the third time in a row, which doesn’t make for encouraging reading.

In effect, the Transformers/G.I. Joe movie is going to be a cross-pollination between an IP that’s fallen on its face at the first hurdle three times over meeting minds with another that’s set a record box office low three times over. A recipe for guaranteed commercial success, it most definitely is not.

Admittedly, Stephen Sommers’ The Rise of Cobra is entertaining in a “live-action Team America but without a shred of irony or self-awareness” kind of way, something Paramount Plus subscribers would appear to be in agreement with after the ludicrous unintentional comedy detonated a new lease of life on the streaming service’s most-watched rankings, per FlixPatrol.

It’s hard to imagine anyone was jumping for joy when another G.I. Joe do-over was announced, but surely another failure must draw the line under Paramount’s relentless stubbornness that the brand will catch on eventually.