The Little Mermaid is magical, beyond magnificent, and so does not represent the best of Disney’s flair in live-action remakes of its classic animations.
That crown goes to another House of Mouse reimagination of a famous animated film. But before disclosing the Disney remake that deserves all the admiration and why, let me clear the air a bit — I am not here to go on a lengthy diatribe about why The Little Mermaid sucks because it so does not.
The remake is beautiful, Halle Bailey, Daveed Diggs, and Melissa McCarthy are outstanding (and effortlessly balance out Jonah Hauer-King and Javier Bardem’s one-note performances), the mesmerizing underwater kingdom is a sight to behold (the naysayers can sue me later), and what not. It is a dream come true… if you are an eight-year-old or suffering from amnesia.
Why? Well, because this 28-year-old grandma here was sitting there in the theatre, fighting a flood of very contrasting emotions. One, I remember the original animated The Little Mermaid and I couldn’t stop the message running on a loop in my head that no one can trump the OG’s magic as the remake tweaked with parts of the existing story (being exposed to more of the ridiculously dull Prince Eric is torture on another level).
But this sentiment was having a sweaty face-off with my craving for watching something new, unique, and different, and it didn’t help that the film’s plot is often copied verbatim from the 1989 one. I am close to spending almost three decades on this planet and watching a rehashed story, already done to death, being smothered with badly managed nostalgia.
Harvey Dent’s line from The Dark Knight has never made more sense, “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain…”
Well, I ain’t no hero, but I have definitely lived long enough to know the actual Little Mermaid fairytale, remember watching (and loving) the animated film (and every other Disney animation) for years as I grew up, and know that there is a world of creativity and originality out there in the multiverse of cinema, something that 2021’s Emma Stone starrer Cruella tapped into, resetting my Disney-remakes-are-never-good thought-train.
I would like to throw caution out of the window and dare to say that ALL 15 Disney remakes except Cruella are either a scene-by-scene copy of the original or contradicts the most intrinsic parts of the story in their drive to stand apart — both scenarios do nothing but rob them of their soul. Oh, but how cleverly Cruella sidestepped both these landmines while towing the fine line of the latter with expertise. It was not 101 Dalmatians in the flesh but neither did it jerk around the existing story. It gave us a brand new Cruella but didn’t scratch away the potential for her to ditch the light to fully embrace the darkness of her nature.
I am not saying that adults should or should not like The Little Mermaid — after all, Bailey, McCarthy, and Diggs’ performances demand to be praised — I am just fielding for the poor Gen X’s and millennials like me who have been terrorized by tiny devils into watching the film twice already and are not allowed to even let out a not-so-exaggerated sigh or point out why you would rather re-watch Cruella till the sequel comes out.
*sigh* Well, I am on my way to watch The Little Mermaid for the third time because there is no exorcist to save me from the Ariel-loving miniature demons in my house. And unless the third time isn’t the charm and I don’t magically forget that the 1989 version, I would like to tell Disney remakes that WE ARE ON A BREAK!