The pointless prequel to a movie nobody even liked in the first place goes back to the start on streaming

The murky realm of horror sequels is drenched in movies that nobody asked for, with surprises franchises spawning out of nowhere that you may have never even knew existed, of which we can surely include Vacancy 2: The First Cut.

The 2007 opener starred Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson as a couple who discover the “slasher” films they’ve been watching in their motel room are actually snuff videos filmed inside the grounds, and they’re next in line to become the stars. It was roundly panned by critics, barely made an impact at the box office, and then slinked off into nothingness never to be heard from again.

And yet, two years later, it was decided that the origins of the murderous lodgings absolutely demanded to be explored in painstakingly tedious detail, which leads us to The First Cut. Unfolding in the heady distant past of 2004, we discover what spurred the owners into action when they stumbled upon the perfect concoction for capturing killing on camera.

Is there so much as a single surprise to be found within? No. But, what about the excitement levels? Non-existent. Genuine frights? Nope. Top-tier performances from the cast? Ha, get outta here. It’s something that exists, though, which has been enough to convince HBO Max subscribers that Vacancy 2: The Final Cut (weird giving it a number when it’s a prequel, but we digress) is worth 85 minutes of their time.

Per FlixPatrol, the origin story nobody asked for has become one of the streaming service’s most-watched features around the world, although there may be anywhere up to several people left devastated that Vacancy 3 never came to pass.