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WGTC Weekly Throwdown: Lord Of The Rings Battle! Who Is The Fiercest Fighter In All Of Middle Earth?

The Lord Of The Rings is a tale as epic as has ever been told. The war for Middle-earth has few rivals when it comes to scale and to the stakes, not only in Tolkien's writing but in all of fantasy lore. Basically the whole world is doomed if the good guys fail, but luckily the good guys have some of the fiercest warriors on their side.

Alex: Legolas

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The film: Return Of The King. The battle: Pelennor Fields.

In case you’ve somehow forgotten that scene, which would only be possible if you smoked a whole shed of the finest pipe weed in the Shire since the last time you’ve watched it, let me walk you through what happens.

There’s a fierce battle going on, with fighters dying all around, and an army of the dead wreaking havok. Suddenly, a bunch of gigantic Oliphants bearing crews of masked men come charging into the field. Legolas sees an especially large one heading toward him, yet instead of running away like the average warrior would do, he sees an opportunity for an epic kill.

He sprints towards the Oliphant, grabbing hold of one of its six spiked tusks. He then somehow swings from the trunk to the leg, then from that leg to another, finally climbing his way up on the arrows that have pierced the tree trunk of a leg. Keep in mind, this whole time the Oliphant is running at full speed and swinging his head, causing his spiked tusks to spray warriors all over. He unleashes a barrage of arrows, killing almost all the men before he loses his balance and is forced to grab hold of a swinging rope attached the saddle. While hanging, he shoots a bunch more arrows in order to force the saddle off the Oliphant and thus pull himself onto its back. Then he moves to the simple task of taking three arrows and firing them into the Oliphant’s skull, causing it to collapse forward, the momentum of which Legolas uses to slide down the trunk and dismount in the most graceful fashion.

Sorry, Gimli, that definitely counts as more than one.

I’d include the video here, but that’s most definitely cheating, considering as soon as anyone sees it there’s no way they’d say anyone is a better warrior than Legolas.

I hardly need to point out anything more than that scene, but I love talking about this Elf, so I’ll continue.

His bowmanship is absolutely unrivaled. Some of the shots he hits are just breathtaking. The quickness with which he draws his arrows and readies his bow can be compared to no man or beast on Earth, since nothing else moves anywhere near that fast. And he’s not only able to shoot his arrows, but he can use them as swords, meaning there’s no way to beat him, even if by some stroke of luck you’re able to get within 50 feet of him.

His wisdom is not to be discounted, as it helps the Fellowship countless times. Granted, he’s much older than Gimli and Aragorn, who are a mere 139 and 87 respectively, which are the ages of children to an elf, meaning he’s had a lot of time to gather that wisdom, but that doesn’t make it any less impressive. Time and time again he can sense that a turn for the worse is coming, and that isn’t just because he’s a bit of an emo. He always is able to warn the Fellowship whether their current path is right, or if they should deviate from it, just by his feeling, and he’s never wrong. I would certainly take Legolas’ advice regardless of how faint his feeling is.

Not only is he the best warrior, but he’s the best drinker as well, which is saying something with how the residents of Middle-earth love their ale. Recall the drinking game between him and Gimli? After countless mugs he not only wins, but gives the ultimate taunting line before Gimli passes out: “I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it’s affecting me.”

A fierce fighter, the wisest of all, and a subtle comedian who holds his liquor, there is no one I would rather have defending me from hordes of orcs than Legolas.

My elf eyes see Legolas as the clear choice.

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