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The 13 Worst Horror Movies Of 2012

Alright, confession time - I never really WANT to write a "Worst Of" horror list because I try to find value in every horror movie, and it's always easy to pick on the weak. Making silly analogies, calling filmmakers out, trashing tacky performances, crapping all over nonsensical plots and even worse execution - it's simple child's play really. But, with that said, some films are so astoundingly underwhelming, so obviously terrible, so egotistically cocky, so downright atrocious, and so painfully time-wasting - I have no choice but to take action. I have nothing against the people involved or those trying to make endearing cinema, but a bad film is a bad film, end of story.

7. Spiders 3D

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Director: Tibor Takács

If Spiders 3D sounds like a ridiculous creature feature that belongs on the SyFy channel sandwiched between Ice Spiders and Camel Spiders, you’re right, as veteran B-Movie director Tibor Takács sets loose numerous arachnid terrors to rampage through New York City. While these kinds of movies can be a ton of fun to watch, displaying what silly carnival-like enjoyment can be had within the horror genre, Spiders 3D doesn’t quite reach “so bad it’s good” levels of grindhouse glory.

Here’s the thing – I hate spiders. Those creepy-crawly fuzzy little eight legged freaks really send a chill down my spine, so I was hesitant to see how Spiders 3D would work for me. Well, considering CGI work never really gives us a foe worth fearing, and how I easily sat through Takács’ film without even flinching, the visual mark was drastically missed. But, considering I didn’t find any humor in his film either, there’s no excuse for shoddy delivery typically found in films that are able to entertain in other ways. Nope, just a lot of shiny “spiders” and made for TV acting.

6. Silent Hill: Revelation

Director: Michael J. Bassett

While Silent Hill is easily one of better video game adaptations I’ve ever seen, Silent Hill: Revelation is easily one of the worst.

The problem here wasn’t acting by any means, as Adelaide Clemens and Kit Harington did the best they could, but awful pacing and laughably inept scripting doomed whatever visual treats Bassett attempted to show. In no way was Silent Hill: Revelation meant to be comical, yet I found myself laughing out loud in the theater at miserable dialogue not even found in the worst video game cut-scenes, along with anti-climactic storytelling which completely missed any point of enjoyable horror.

My final straw came at the realization I could only rationalize the on-screen events with the word “because,” and that isn’t something I find too appealing. Gamers were treated as if they knew every bit of backstory from Silent Hill 3, and non-gaming horror fans were left in the dark – angry and annoyed.

Pissing off non-gamers is one thing, but to not even play towards the audience members who shat their pants playing Silent Hill 3? *Facepalm*

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