Alas, poor current slate of X-Men actors, for we hardly knew thee. With Disney finally consuming Fox whole, Bones and all, an inevitable, cigaretteless reboot is surely on its way, with X-Men: Dark Phoenix, the little movie that could(n’t), set to be the swan song for this current iteration of our favorite mutants. What a shit-show, huh? I’m not even talking about the laborious reshoots this troubled flick has undergone.
Unlike normal pick-ups and a missed angle here and there, however, director Simon Kinberg revealed in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that he and the Fox crew reshaped the entire third act of the film. Apparently, the original climax of the movie was to take place in space. Not feeling like that was grandiose enough, they decided to move the finale to a small, grey military train. Granted, if you’ve seen that awful, spoilerific trailer from earlier this year, you’ll already know this, since they show basically that entire scene. Oops!
Also, you know how phoenixes are made of, like, fire and stuff? Well they also changed the look of Jean Grey to be more “cosmic” instead of “flamey,” because, I guess you have to be, like, different or whatever these days? Honestly, I bet space eyes are easier to render. Plus, can you really add flames to an already-blazing dumpster fire? Zing!
Fun fact: this is Simon Kinberg’s first time behind the camera, unless you count him secretly stealth-directing reshoots on 2015’s Best Picture winner, Fantastic Four. On top of that, he’s essentially remaking a story he already helped kind of bring to the screen when he wrote X-Men: The Last Stand so many years ago, and it didn’t really work too well the last time now did it? Personally, I’m betting this is gonna be a flop and a half.
After the disappointment of X-Men: Apocalypse and how seemingly rushed this introduction to one of the most important story lines in the X-Men canon is for this current generation of mutants, can you really blame me? Dark Phoenix is going to be the Batman V Superman of X-Men movies. You heard it here first!