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‘100% there needs to be disclaimer!!!’: Domestic violence survivor weighs in on ‘It Ends With Us’ and its shortcomings

Domestic violence survivors call out It Ends With Us for failing to include trigger warnings.

TikToker comments on It Ends With Us and its portrayal of domestic violence
Via mikkzazon/TikTok

It Ends With Us has been doing exceptionally well at the box office, earning over $200 million. Despite this success, it hasn’t avoided criticism (and not just Blake Lively’s tone-deaf comments and refusion to address the complex issues the film deals with). 

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Given the film’s PR, you may be forgiven for thinking it’s some fun, rom-com-type movie instead of a heartbreaking story that deals with themes of domestic violence. This is one of the reasons why seeing it without fully realizing what the story is about could be traumatic, especially given the accuracy of how the abuse has been portrayed.

TikToker mikkzazon, who describes herself as a “domestic violence survivor,” made a video in which she admitted that “nothing has ever portrayed domestic violence, in the way that I experienced it, so accurately.” There is one major problem, though: the film chose not to use trigger warnings or disclaimers!

Mikkzazon stressed the need for disclaimers before the movie and the book of the same name by Colleen Hoover, and she noted why this should have been non-negotiable. “I felt like I was hit by a train,” she admitted after reading the book, which she read months before the film. “I was so caught off guard because I went into it thinking I was going to read a girly pop love story.”

She also shared her thoughts on the PR for the film, noting how it felt like “two separate agendas: you have Justin on one end, advocating for domestic survivors, and then on the other side, you have Blake saying ‘go put on a floral dress.’” Her comments have been made before, with other fans noting director Justin Baldoni’s interviews were sensitive and compassionate. In contrast, Blake Lively tried to play off the film’s seriousness by informing fans to “Grab your friends, wear your florals, and head out to see it!”​​ 

TikToker mikkzazon also commented that the abuse was romanticized by the film in the beginning, but to drive home a bigger point about the behavior of abusers. This is also why she has felt disappointed with Lively and her PR. “It’s a cultural thing to normalize and romanticize abuse in literally every love story that you read or watch,” she shared. “It’s important to prevent desensitization by giving disclaimers beforehand.” She then went on to bravely share her own story and experience with her abuser.

People react to ‘It Ends With Us’ and why it didn’t include disclaimers 

TikToker mikkzazon raises important points that should not be overlooked, and many people agree with her opinions on why disclaimers were necessary for this film. “The disclaimers and hotlines were NECESSARY idk how they didn’t include them…,” a comment reads. Another person shared similar thoughts. Their comment reads: “The lack of trigger warnings from that book made me not want to touch another one of her books.”

Other commenters have noted how seeing domestic violence onscreen brought up trauma for them and how it impacted their mental health and recovery. “When I read the book I felt the same. And then I broke into a million pieces, felt like I was back in that relationship. I didn’t sleep for months after reading it. Had nightmares of my ex,” a commenter shared of her experience. “The build up to the events was so similar to mine. There was no warning.” Like so many, she stressed the importance of including a disclaimer. However, she also addressed Lively’s attitude toward the film and how damaging her comments are. “Nothing about this topic is fun,” she wrote.

Mikkzazon responded to the comment, writing, “I had nightmares too. It actually really messed with my head. A simple disclaimer would have helped me a lot.”

There have also been comparisons between Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively. “Justin Baldoni literally said all these same EXACT things in his interviews and said this is what he wanted the take-away to be,” a TikTok user wrote. “Blake’s silence is SO loud,” another shared. 

The comment section of the TikTok video makes it clear that a lot of fans are unhappy with Lively and feel she is either out of touch or simply unable to grasp the topic adequately. This is also why many have expressed their views on how she was the wrong actress to portray Lily Bloom.

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