’90 Day Fiancé’: Why did Michael Ilesanmi go missing?

Content warning: This article references domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Earlier this year, 90 Day Fiancé fans were alarmed and concerned by news that Michael Illesanmi, a Nigerian native and husband of co-star Angela Deem, had been reported missing in the United States, shortly after his first arrival into the country. Michael went missing from Feb. 23 to Feb. 26, 2024 – something Angela announced to fans on social media just hours before he was found – a decision that made followers question the extent of the American citizen’s concern for her spouse.

Illesanmi was found safe after contacting police, but refused contact with Angela, citing fear for his life. During the tell-all episodes that wrapped up season eight of their latest television outing, season eight of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After, Michael was cleared by Angela’s private investigator of any wrongdoing – referring to accusations of both cheating and conning Angela out of money – and the two returned to Georgia after taping was finished, so what changed after filming ended?

What does Michael Illesanmi claim was the cause of his brief disappearance?

Speaking to Entertainment Tonight before Happily Ever After season eight ended in August 2024, Michael cited Angela’s outbursts of rage – which could escalate into physical violence – as evidence that their relationship was in a deeply toxic place prior to his arrival in the United States in December 2023.

“I thought when I got here things will be better for us,” he notes. “But I was wrong, you know? Things got worse when I got here.”

“[Angela’s behavior] is not OK. I mean, I’m this kind of person. I’m a very chill guy, probably because I’m a very cool guy, and I’m an easygoing person. She took that advantage, you know, to do what she did. I mean, if I was the one that did that to her it would have been a different scenario, you know?”

“It’s a lot for me to leave, for me to have left,” Michael continued. “Rather, it had gotten to the point [where] I couldn’t just bear it anymore.”

The Nigerian immigrant also cited Angela’s surveillance and control over him in the home as another form of abuse. “You know, even since I go to the States we didn’t have sex,” he adds. “We never had sex. I mean, she sleeps in the room. I sleep on the couch — that’s how we’ve been living. If anything happened in the house, I’ll be the first person to be caught, I mean, I can’t even be free in the house. [She’s] always monitoring me, checking checking my phone, and all that.”

The ending of Happily Ever After season eight gave some more insight into why Michael disappeared (emphasis on “some”)

At the end of the fifth tell-all episode – the last episode of season eight overall – a note at the end explained to viewers that Michael disappeared from his home just days after filming wrapped for the cast reunion. Angela, in a self-filmed video at the end, said that her “worst nightmare came true” shortly after the couple returned to her Hazelhurst, Georgia home.

In a separate video, Michael added his account of his disappearance, relaying that Angela’s abusive behavior was the main reason for his departure. “After the Tell-All, you know, we went back home, and as usual, my wife Angie, you know, she got angry. She started giving me attitude and saying all sorts of things to me. So it got to a point — I just had to leave,” the Nigerian native said.

Michael added that he fled their home when Angela left to run some errands, in which he “went to the closet, picked up my backpack and my essential documents and my jacket,” before leaving with no explanation or trace of where he was going.

Ilesanmi said he walked for five hours straight, before managing to arrange a bus ride through a friend, taking him to his new, undisclosed location, said to be “18 hours” away from Angela’s home. From the two separate video explanations of Michael’s brief disappearance, it seems that Michael is keen to keep his whereabouts a secret, even several months later. With Angela now filing to annul her marriage from Michael due to her claims of fraud to obtain a visa to the U.S., this secrecy is likely to continue.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233), or text “START” to 88788 for safe, confidential support.