Check Out The New Trailer For The Smurfs 2 (Or Don’t)

For some bizarre reason that we can’t bear to think about, movie studios are obsessed with bringing back old cartoon franchises and turning them into CG animations, perhaps because they hate the world and they hate you, but probably because using “stuff that exists already” means that everybody gets to go home a little earlier. That’s presumably how the original The Smurfs movie came to be, a rollicking failure of a comedy that was just about the worst movie to emerge in theatres last year. And Adam Sandler made four movies in 2011, which tells you a whole lot about the level of quality we’re dealing with here.

Yes, as cinema continues its on-going objective to “get worse,” The Smurfs 2 has been green-lit… and here’s the trailer to prove it! And according to details revealed by said trailer, The Smurfs 2 throws a whole new angle in there, mainly in the form of new creatures called “Naughties” (seriously), which are basically just Smurfs but white.

What ensues looks to be based mostly around things going wrong for Hank Azaria‘s Gargamel, who can be glimpsed getting into a few continental scrapes, one of which includes a ferris wheel which becomes unhinged (ha ha!) and rolls about town. Also apparent are a bunch of celebrities who aren’t doing anything right now, and are therefore in this.

Here’s the plot synopsis, for those… wait, why would you ever read this?

In the sequel, the evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria) creates a couple of mischievous Smurf-like creatures called the Naughties that he hopes will let him harness the all-powerful, magical Smurf-essence. But when he discovers that only a real Smurf can give him what he wants — and only a secret spell that Smurfette knows can turn the Naughties into real Smurfs — Gargamel kidnaps Smurfette and brings her to Paris, where he has been winning the adoration of millions as the world’s greatest sorcerer. It’s up to Papa, Clumsy, Grouchy, and Vanity to return to our world, reunite with their human friends Patrick and Grace Winslow, and rescue her! Will Smurfette, who has always felt different from the other Smurfs, find a new connection with the Naughties Vexy and Hackus – or will the Smurfs convince her that their love for her is True Blue?

The Smurfs 2 hits theatres July 31st 2013, so make yourself busy that day (and don’t have any kids who might drag you to see it in the meantime).