An ordeal involving a young child, her mother, and an angry raccoon is making the rounds on the internet today, and while it was likely a fairly scarring experience for the five-year-old, the mother’s handling of the aggravated trash panda has left social media in absolute stitches.
The surveillance footage which captured the incident shows five-year-old Riley getting jumped by the irate animal, quickly latching onto her leg. Riley’s mother Logan hears her daughter screaming and arrives on the scene.
After prying the raccoon off her daughter’s leg and getting Riley safely back inside the house, Logan tussles with the raccoon for a moment before flinging the antagonistic mammal off into the shadow realm. The critter pirouettes through the air a number of times before landing and slinking off into the bushes to plot its revenge.
Naturally, our sick and twisted selves can’t help but burst into laughter at the sight of the incensed trash panda hurtling through the air, tearing through dimensions and universes on its way to the ground.
Of course, fan-fiction authors have come crawling out of the woodwork to ascertain why the raccoon was having such a bad day and decided to take it out on an innocent child. Needless to say, with all the Guardians of the Galaxy news and hype circulating recently, many minds jumped straight to Rocket Raccoon:
Having spoken with Channel 3 news and per reporting by FOX5 Las Vegas, both Riley and Logan have since had their injuries treated and had rabies shots as a precautionary measure, but they’re both thankfully doing okay, if not a little shaken by the events that unfolded.
All the while, the undoubtedly bitter raccoon continues to roam the hallowed grounds of Ashford, Connecticut plotting its next move.
If anyone ends up retelling this tale with “Shooting Stars” by Bag Raiders as the backdrop, please do send us a DM – we’d love to see it.