Rather worryingly, it’s looking increasingly likely that Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States of America. The amber maniac, who, of course, served as the 45th president from 2017 to 2021, is ahead of Democratic nominee Joe Biden in the latest polls, according to The Economist.
Now, let’s not kid ourselves: Biden is hardly looking like a stellar candidate at the moment (someone stepping in to replace him would be the best option at this stage), but he’s undoubtedly the better of two poor options for anyone with an ounce of common sense, given Trump is, quite literally, a convicted felon with the IQ of a watermelon and the petulance of a spoilt six-year-old child.
Moreover, Trump taking office for another four years would inflict his hellacious dance moves on the world again. We really can’t have that. No, seriously, for the love of all that’s righteous and holy, don’t let that happen.
Let’s remind ourselves of why…
How does Donald Trump dance?
Donald Trump dances like Ray Harryhausen made an orange stop-motion android for a 1953 movie. He dances like a cardboard scarecrow with severe constipation. His dancing is like an action figure of the fictional character, “Super Toupee,” being physically manipulated by an unwieldy four-year-old. It’s reminiscent of an elderly man having one of those dreams where you’re trying to punch, but your arms don’t work correctly. It’s like someone who’s just been introduced to “rock, paper, scissors” and hasn’t quite mastered the art of how to play.
For heaven’s sake, America, do the right thing. Please don’t give the tangerine tool a chance to wave his fists around to that godawful “YMCA” song in a manner that displays an embarrassing lack of rhythm.
P.S. It really isn’t “cute,” Sara Gonzales.
Published: Jul 19, 2024 04:27 am