Disney continues plans for dystopian hellscape by building entire neighborhoods

From Tranquility Lane in Fallout 3 to Yonder in Vivarium, “happy little communities” are generally less than ideal. But that didn’t stop Disney from creating Storyliving by Disney, “vibrant new neighborhoods that are infused” with Disney’s “special brand of magic.”

If you get “purge the impure” vibes from this announcement, then you’re not alone. “These master-planned, new home communities are intended to inspire residents to foster new friendships,” the Disney PR Director wrote, “pursue their interests and write the next exciting chapter in their lives —all while enjoying the attention to detail and special touches that are Disney hallmarks.”

Don’t worry, you won’t dwell unobserved in these communities; Disney cast members will walk around the neighborhood to keep an eye on things. Who needs privacy when you can have Frollo or Donald Duck peeking in your window?

The first Disney Storyliving community will be called Cotino, and it will be located just outside of Palm Springs, California, where Walt Disney once lived. In these communities, “philanthropic endeavors” and “seminars” will take place regularly. As this has just been announced, details on what it will cost to live in these communities is unknown to the public. You will need a Disney Parks Day Pass to check out the “oasis” that is beach access.

While many people are ready to hop in and join the Disney community, literally, others are getting bad vibes from the concept. To each their own, however, as this community could be just as delightful as advertised. Or, it could develop an AI akin to AUTO from Wall-E, or GLaDOS from Portal, and be taking over in the near future.

Maybe it’s inevitable, and we’ll all live happily ever after in Disney communities, sipping on LeFou’s Brews, and spending evenings playing Rummy with the Incredibles.