He’s just weeks into the veep role, but JD Vance has already established a reputation as a bumbling idiot. Not only has he directly insulted several important allies and recently dubbed Chinese people as “peasants”, apparently galvanizing the country to resist Trump’s tariffs whatever the cost. But now we can add being a physical butterfingers to his list of deficiencies, as the man apparently can’t even lift a simple trophy.
Yesterday, the vice president welcomed the Ohio State football team to the White House to celebrate them winning the national championship. But, as he lifted the trophy, disaster struck. Vance, clearly unused to participating in sports, screwed up, and somehow managed to yank the trophy apart.
The CFP National Championship Trophy falls apart as VP JD Vance tries to hold it aloft at the White House. pic.twitter.com/XYmZRnCsK0
— Philip Melanchthon Wegmann (@PhilipWegmann) April 14, 2025
OSU running back TreyVon Henderson did his best to assist, but couldn’t prevent the bumbling Vance from embarrassing himself. Everyone around him winced and gasped, as the Marine Corps band churned out a suddenly ironic ‘We Are The Champions’. Trump himself was present and could be seen grimacing in disbelief and shaking his head as Vance instantly transformed an elegant celebratory photoshoot into a Three Stooges sketch.
We know that Trump hates this particular brand of embarrassing tomfoolery, so doubtless later gave Vance a stern reprimand for making the White House look like actual literal clowns in front of the world’s press.
Vance feebly laughed off the incident on X, saying “I didn’t want anyone after Ohio State to get the trophy so I decided to break it.” It’s telling that even when technically being self-deprecating Vance is still trying to save face by jokingly claiming he meant to do this. A silly public gaffe doesn’t necessarily signify much in the wider scope of politics, but hey, Vance shambling around like an oaf on stage and being laughed at by everyone is comedy enough for us right now.
If Vance keeps this up, he’s in danger of developing a firm reputation as a gaffe machine. For example, last year he was commiserating a bombing at Abbey Gate in Kabul, Afghanistan, in which 13 American soldiers died. Vance got that mixed up with The Beatles album’ Abbey Road: “The families of these poor people who had their loved ones die three years ago at Abbey Road.” Who thought Mean Mr Mustard would claim so many lives?
JD Vance buys donuts in Holt’s Sweet Shop in Valdosta Georgia pic.twitter.com/xOO2j3AoRf
— Howard Mortman (@HowardMortman) August 22, 2024
Then there was the bizarre donut shop interaction in Valdosta, Georgia, in which Vance appeared unable to actually order a donut. He ended up stammering to the perplexed guy behind the counter that he wanted “just whatever makes sense”. Pick a donut, dude.
If you’re in the Trump White House, maybe just keep this guy away from the cameras for a while. Maybe there’s a cameo spot for him in the new Naked Gun movie? He’d fit right in.
Published: Apr 15, 2025 03:17 am