‘If this isn’t the final boss then who is?’: Woman turns a corner and comes face to face with absolute unit of an alley cat

When we think of wildlife, our minds immediately turn to the residents of the many forests, oceans, deserts, and mountains of the world. Very rarely, however, do we consider the biome of the city.

City wildlife is an utterly fascinating state of affairs; the pigeon who’s evolved in such a way that its fear receptors have been shed, the subway rats whose bodies exclusively recognize pizza scraps as food, and, of course, the pristinely-groomed Shih Tzus native to the many Dior handbags of the world.

All are as much nature’s miracles as their less-urban brethren, and TikTok has just unearthed footage of the city’s apex predator (assuming you don’t count tech billionaires).

Filmed by one Lesley Tery and distributed by @pubity, the encounter couldn’t be more perfect. There Lesley is, minding her own business as many a pedestrian does, when she spots the one and only Felinus Domesticus Chungus gazing back at her, mythological in its girth. By all appearances, this gargantuan kitty cat has internalized how mighty he is, because his demeanor is positively stone-cold throughout; never moving even an inch from his sturdily-planted position nor breaking eye contact with Lesley.

Those of you familiar with Dark Souls may instinctively hallucinate an orchestral flare when taking a gander at this cat. All we’re wondering now is why Lesley made the decision to pass through the gigantic wall of fog that was almost certainly veiling this alleyway; is she even the right level to do battle with this monster?

To make matters even more humbling, this cat, like all members of its species, got to the level they’re at right now by cheesing the game of life. According to a study in the Danish Journey of Archaeology, domestic cats have increased in size by up to 16 percent since the Viking Age, with vastly increased food availability and hunting becoming a non-requirement cited as reasons for this particular chunk enterprise.

That, or maybe cats just idolize Garfield and want to be just like him; an interesting choice for a role model, but hey, that’s the power of representation in the media for you. Perhaps this particular feline put on a few pounds to protest the poor reviews of The Garfield Movie.

Either way, better they prop up Garfield as their celebrity of choice rather than Sylvester or Tom; worshipping a lazy guru is far better than worshipping a homicidal one.