Sure, the Middle East is on fire, thousands are already dead, and countless more will soon be corpses, but please take a moment to consider the woes of the humble Trump supporter.
Yes, they get to enjoy the pinnacle of human civilization to the point that they have to make up things about gay people or immigrants just to have something to be mad about. But now, finally, the consequences are beginning to arrive – slightly fewer opportunities to visit the lake.
That’s right folks, it’s officially time to break out the world’s tiniest violin for this beleaguered MAGA maniac, who took to Facebook to post:
Gas too expensive to jet ski
by u/Hateful_Face_Licking in LeopardsAteMyFace
“Gas prices are absolutely Ridiculous!!!!! Gas is now $4 and up and it’s $5 at many stations! Thanks a lot Trump for putting us into this situation!!!!!!!! And remember I’m a Trump supporter and am saying this and feeling this way! This sure does hurt in so many ways I will have to now put a limit on lake days and driving period the way that these gas prices keep skyrocketing by the day!!!!!!”
If you’d like a little fuel for your imagination, why not put on Mozart’s ‘Requiem in D minor‘ and picture dust gently settling on a Kawasaki 2024 SX-R 160 jet ski, which is going tragically unridden as its owner simply can’t afford the gas to get down to the lake.
Pouring one out for you, buddy
There is (sort of) a serious point to this. Right now, many Trump supporters are like Wile E. Coyote running off the cliff edge. Somehow, in total defiance of gravity, they keep running on thin air. But this can only last so long before they turn to camera, hold up a sign that says “oh no”, and then plummet into the proverbial canyon.
Practically every economist is warning that gas prices are going to get higher still, raising the specter of a situation similar to the early 70s in which there were queues for the pumps, fights at gas stations, people caught siphoning gas from cars, and even occasional tanker hijackings.
The midterms are looming, so if the predictions are right and America enters a genuine crisis over gas, even the most die-hard MAGA maniac might have to admit they’ve backed the wrong horse as they realize they can’t even afford to run an automobile anymore. They may not then rush to vote Democrat, but they’re certainly not going to be enthusiastially voting for Trump’s candidates!
Published: Mar 20, 2026 08:43 am