In one of the funniest scenes in the third episode of Marvel’s Agatha All Along, every witch gets Botox. After drinking poisoned wine, the coven’s faces swelled so badly, they began looking like every other rich person you may know that has become a little too into plastic surgery.
Given the context of the episode, which took Agatha and co. down the Witches’ Road and into a beautiful, sensibly decorated beachside mansion, and noting the familiarity of the makeover the characters were given as they walked through its door, viewers were quick to make the association with a popular reality show about similarly wealthy, pristinely dressed women, drinking wine and trading gossip.
“The Real Housewives of Westview Season 1 Reunion,” one fan tweeted, under a hilarious behind-the-scenes selfie with the cast still showing off the makeup department’s fantastic prosthetic work on their botched plastic surgery faces. “Looks like a Jennifer Coolidge fan convention,” another replied.
Looks like a Jennifer Coolidge fan convention
— Pete Jordan (@Pete1014) September 26, 2024
Another hilarious tweet described all the cosmetic interventions done to the witches’ faces. “Rhinoplasty, eye lift, jaw shave, botox, cheek filler, facial bone surgery, gastric bypass surgery, v neck blazer, facelift, feet reduction, lip filler, buccal fat removal.” Sounds like a Kardashian’s to-do list. “DO NOT GET BOTOX FROM TEMU,” one viewer warned.
According to Patti LuPone in a video of the cast that Ali Ahn shared on her Instagram, however, the inspiration was actually another type of wife show, Mob Wives, and its main star, the late Big Ang (the resemblance is uncanny).
Explaining the poison everyone drank with their wine in episode 3 of Agatha All Along, and why we should hide it from everyone in Hollywood
If you’re thinking this miraculous wine will give you the plump lips and chiseled bone structure of your dreams for a much cheaper price than that plastic surgeon you follow on Instagram, think again.
Known as Alewife’s Revenge, the face-lift-inducing poison contained in the wine drunk by the coven in episode 3 of Agatha All Along can also cause dizziness, delirium, loss of motion function, hallucinations, and, yes, death. R.I.P. Sharon Hart. After their faces regained their regular shape, much to Lilia Calderu’s chagrin, all of the witches began hallucinating about past traumas, providing some of the scariest imagery in the season so far. We do not recommend.
The poison borrows its name from witchcraft lore, which has frequently crossed wires with the figure of the medieval alewife. Alewives were beer makers in medieval Europe whose costumes and customs have been widely reported as the source for the typical witch get-up in popular culture. Alewives wore tall, pointy hats so they could easily be identified in the marketplace crowds, and used large cauldrons to boil grains and perfect brews. These crafty women also hug broom-like ale poles by their front doors to identify their business, and employed cats to hunt grain-hungry mice.
Both historians and popular legend have theorized that alewives are behind the modern conception of witches, since they would often be accused of leading men astray with their magical potions. We’ve all seen British men after a football match — forget about the “wives” part, it was obviously the ale.
For witchcraft enthusiasts, it’s been deliciously fun to pick up on these references throughout the episodes of Agatha All Along. In the lore of the occult, perhaps the Alewife’s Revenge poison was used by these medieval witches in reaction to their bad rep. We’ll only excuse the switch from beer to wine in this instance because the latter fits the Real House(Ale?)wives aesthetic much better.
Thankfully, right when the coven’s arms were beginning to flail around and the clock was running out, Jen was able to concoct an antidote that saved their lives (well, not all of them… We will miss you, Sharon).