Pete Hegseth's insane apocalypse fantasies fed to confused troops, commanders say its time to kickstart Armageddon – We Got This Covered
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Image via Instagram/Pete Hegseth
Image via Instagram/Pete Hegseth

Pete Hegseth’s insane apocalypse fantasies fed to confused troops, commanders say its time to kickstart Armageddon

Pete Hegseth is out of his mind. The newly christened “Secretary of War” has a head full of truly bonkers beliefs that sound more like the stuff you’d hear from a crazy person screaming on a street corner than a powerful government official.

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Hegseth proudly attends Pilgrim Hill Reformed Fellowship, a Communion of Reformed Evangelical Churches congregation. CREC describes itself as a “Christian nationalist” sect that aims to convert America into a fundamentalist Christian nation under Biblical law.

Hegseth laid out his beliefs in his 2021 book American Crusade, using the historical Crusades – in which stinky Europeans (so stinky the Moors could apparently smell them coming) ransacked the Middle East – as a model for his foreign policy.

So, as you might imagine, he’s overjoyed at being able to rain death upon Iranians. Why, he’s practically a crusading knight! Shame about that elementary school full of little girls, but oh well.

As you might expect, Hegseth is appointing men with similar Christian nationalist views to senior positions in the military. These commanders are now feeding their subordinates some truly bonkers stuff.

How does a blood-soaked angel pertain to combat operations, SIR?

Imagine for a second that you’re a non-commissioned officer working as a Platoon Sergeant. You’re busy enough with everything else that’s going on in the world, but today you’re summoned to a top-priority meeting with one of Hegseth’s commanders. You sit down, perhaps expecting to be given some orders or a strategic update.

You’re then told that Donald Trump has been “anointed by God“, that the destruction of Iran is a Holy War that’s “part of God’s divine plan”, and the commander flips open his Bible to read passages about Armageddon from the Book of Revelation.

Now pay attention, Sergeant, because this is important:

“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God.

The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. “He will rule them with an iron scepter.” He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.”

Ten-HUT!

The above is, by all accounts, literally happening within the US Military. Stunned officers are leaving these meetings reporting that their new commanders are, “especially delighted with how graphic this battle will be, zeroing in on how bloody all of this must become in order to fulfill and be in 100% accordance with fundamentalist Christian end-of-the-world eschatology.”

I don’t want to be an armchair general, but it can’t be good for morale for professional soldiers to realize with horror that the men ordering them into battle are completely and utterly insane and out to cause the end of the world.

We should all hope that this conflict ends quickly, as if it drags on and Iran puts up a stiffer resistance than expected, there’s a chance these lunatics could decide that Biblical Armageddon needs a little nudge to get started, so why not break out a nuclear weapon or two? Hey, they’re going to heaven, right? Why not book an express ticket in atomic fire?


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David James
I'm a writer/editor who's been at the site since 2015. I cover politics, weird history, video games and... well, anything really. Keep it breezy, keep it light, keep it straightforward.