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Stephen King photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images, Trump photo by Mark Peterson - Pool/Getty Images

Stephen King isn’t afraid to admit which barnyard animal Donald ‘poopypants’ Trump reminds him of

The mighty Stephen King telling it like it is, as usual.

Oh Stephen King, you have such a way with words, whether that be crafting the most terrifying stories ever told, or just a really funny post about Donald Trump — it’s always a joy to read what the world famous author is writing.

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Of course, we aren’t talking about one of his books today, so we must be referring to his recent post on X (formerly Twitter) where King called out the ex-president for being a coward. The exact word he used was something relating to chickens and fecal matter, hopefully you’re catching my drift here. 

So, Trump was too chicks**t to testify.

Stephen King – May 21st 2024

That burn has the double whammy of both calling Trump a coward, and reminding us all that he will forever be associated with poop. If you’re not in the loop on that one, allow me to fill you in – last month rumors spread like wildfire that the 77 year old wears a diaper and will happily sit in his own brown while everyone else is holding their noses and trying not to gag. Numerous people close to the man came out and made similar claims since, and Trump himself hasn’t denied it.

Anyways, the author has clearly been keeping up with the ongoing hush money trial, as have we all. Today the businessman opted not to take to the witness stand and testify at his criminal trial, which marks a truly monumental occasion: It’s the first time in Trump’s whole life that he’s not taken the opportunity to run his mouth like an idiot. Maybe he’s finally wisened up, or as King has already noted, maybe he’s just too chicken.

Oddly enough that makes two farmyard animals Donald Trump has been compared to in the last few weeks. Earlier this month, his eyes were being compared to that of a pig’s. Personally, if I had to choose a farm animal to compare him to, it would have to be a donkey — because he’s just such an ass.

Anyways, the MAGA bunch didn’t enjoy King’s insights, instead they chose to believe that Trump refused to testify because the judge and jury are “prejudiced” against him. Many have fully swallowed his whole rant about crooked judges and a Kangaroo court, while others accused King of having the dreaded “Trump Derangement Syndrome!”

What attorney would have their client testify when the other side’s case is so awful?

Why acknowledge a kangaroo court

Isn’t it just more likely that Trump would incriminate himself if he went up there, and that’s the real reason he’s not testifying? That man has already almost talked himself into prison once, does anybody honestly believe that if he took to the stand he wouldn’t talk himself into prison for real this time? His lawyers know this for sure, that’s why Trump isn’t testifying. As Stephen King put it, he’s too chickens**t.


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Jordan Collins
Jordan is a freelance writer who has been featured in a number of publications. He has a Masters in Creative Writing and loves telling that to anyone who will listen. Aside from that he often spends time getting lost in films, books and games. He particularly enjoys fantasy from The Legend of Zelda to The Lord of the Rings.