The British crown has sat on the heads of some truly despicable individuals. Henry VIII beheaded two of his six wives, Richard III is widely believed to have cold-bloodedly murdered his two young nephews, and Mary I (aka “Bloody Mary”) ordered people to be burnt at the stake in record numbers.
So where does King Charles III fit into the rogue’s gallery of Royal reprobates? Well, he hasn’t ordered anyone to be brutally murdered (as far as we know anyway) but neither has he been a moral paragon. So, just as with his two sons William and Harry, let’s examine Charles’ life and rate the worst, weirdest, and most disturbing things he’s ever done.
And by the way, we’re leaving his freaky fantasies about being a human tampon off this list, as while admittedly a bit odd, we’re not going to kinkshame.
1. Morbid and “gruesome” childhood fixations
As a kid, Charles was more Addams Family than Royal family. Relatives noticed early on that the young Charles had morbid and eyebrow-raising fixations and was said to be fascinated by injury, blood, and surgery.
For example, at the age of four Charles witnessed his aunt Alexandra getting accidentally hit in the mouth during an outdoor game. She required minor surgery, and the moment the young Charles heard he “insisted on watching”, no doubt getting as close as possible to his relative’s bloody mouth to see the doctor stitch away.
Alexandra was disturbed by his unusual fixation, writing a letter summarizing Charles as a “gruesome child, don’t you think?”. Judging a four-year-old for being weird doesn’t feel right so we’ll go easy on him, but it’s certainly abnormal.
Wrongdoing rating: 1/10
2. Dated a teenager while in his 30s
Charles’ behavior towards Diana is going to play a huge role in his moral ranking, but before we get into that let’s focus on an often-overlooked aspect of their relationship. Charles and Diana had a 12-year age gap and she first caught his eye when she was just 16 and he was 29. What’s worse is that at the time he was dating Diana’s older sister Sarah, who must have been creeped out by his eye wandering to her much younger sibling.
Charles and Diana didn’t get into an actual relationship until 1980 when he was 32 and she had just turned 19. Now, there’s nothing strictly illegal about this, but getting into a serious relationship with a literal teenager while you’re in your thirties is just plain gross.
Wrongdoing rating: 5/10
3. “Whatever ‘in love’ means”
Charles and Diana’s 1981 engagement announcement interview should have been a moment for the pair to show the nation their love for one another. This is about as soft a softball interview can be, yet Charles’ callous responses left Diana “traumatized”.
The interviewer tells the couple “You both look very much in love”. Diana smiles and replies “of course”. Charles pauses and adds “Whatever ‘in love’ means…” and clarifies that being “in love” is “open to interpretation”. Truly, sweet words that would make any romantic partner’s heart flutter….
Diana later said this moment “threw her completely” and “absolutely traumatized her”. Humiliating your fiancee in front of the entire nation? Not great, Chaz.
Wrongdoing rating: 5/10
4. Treated his wife like garbage for their entire marriage
This is and probably always will be the biggie when it comes to Charles’ moral character. We don’t have the space to list all the minor and major cruelties he inflicted on Diana, but they boil down to him being checked out of the marriage from the very beginning. He doesn’t seem to have respected or even liked Diana and his lack of care for her wellbeing is borderline sociopathic.
Charles notoriously spent almost the entire marriage banging his mistress Camilla on the down-low, resulting in a miserable Diana later famously saying “there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded.” Charles’ cheating impacted Diana’s mental health, resulting in her suffering from bulimia, deep depression, and self-harm.
This will always be a deep stain on Charles’ character and no amount of PR scrubbing will ever fully rehabilitate his image.
Wrongdoing rating: 9/10
5. Went to the opera while his son underwent emergency surgery
At the age of 8 Prince William was accidentally hit in the head with a golf club and fractured his skull. Facing possible brain damage William was rushed to Great Ormond Street Hospital for emergency surgery, ultimately spending an hour in the operating theater. Diana instantly canceled her plans to stay at his side and set up a bed nearby. So where’s Daddy?
Well, he stopped in for 15 minutes and then skedaddled. And what function of the British state was so important he simply couldn’t stick around? He had opera tickets and didn’t want to miss the show. Faced with intensely critical headlines Buckingham Palace tried to defend him by saying he’d “kept in touch with doctors” during the performance. Few believed it.
Father of the Year material right here…
Wrongdoing rating: 6/10
6. Promoted deadly fake cancer treatments
Charles has long been a fan of alternative medicine and often advocates for homeopathic remedies. Your mileage on whether that’s good or bad will vary, but at least drinking water won’t kill you. But, ironically given his current circumstances, Charles has been an enthusiastic promoter of a bizarre fake cancer treatment that’s resulted in many unnecessary deaths.
This is “Gerson Therapy”, which encourages people with cancer to avoid chemotherapy and radiotherapy in favor of coffee enemas and fresh fruit. Patients are then hooked up to a “quantum biofeedback device” which analyzes their blood. In 2004 Charles argued there’s merit in this obvious quackery:
“I know of one patient who turned to Gerson Therapy having been told she was suffering from terminal cancer and would not survive another course of chemotherapy. Happily, seven years later, she is alive and well. So it is vital that, rather than dismissing such experiences, we should further investigate the beneficial nature of these treatments.”
Gerson Therapy patients have a nasty habit of dying of untreated cancer and encouraging people to undergo it over y’know, actual medicine, is dangerously irresponsible. We can’t help but wonder if Charles is putting his money where his mouth is when it comes to his cancer treatment.
Wrongdoing rating: 7/10
7. Tried to interfere with democracy
The British monarchy is a medieval hangover, but the secret sauce that ensures its continued survival is that they’re strictly apolitical. British voters elect MPs, who make laws, and the King or Queen simply stamps their seal of approval. But Charles has a long history of trying to subvert democracy in the form of what came to be known as the “black spider” letters (a reference to his handwriting).
Both Charles and the British Government tried to keep these letters secret, but they were eventually released and saw the then-Prince putting pressure on the government to include alternative remedies in public healthcare, advocating for the mass killing of badgers, and trying to influence the architecture of hospitals.
Charles, buddy, you are important solely because of whose womb you popped out of. You have no right to interfere with democracy. Honestly, you’d think someone called Charles would know about royals overstepping the mark.
Wrongdoing rating: 7/10
8. Made weird comments about his unborn grandson’s skin color
We won’t go over Meghan Markle’s treatment by the wider Royal family, save to agree that her ethnicity appears to have played a part in it. These days the Windsors like to talk a big game when it comes to inclusion, but behind closed doors it sounds like a different story.
In the Sussex’s interview with Oprah Winfrey, Meghan said there were “concerns and conversations about how dark [Archie’s] skin might be when he’s born.” Harry confirmed this, saying he was shocked when it was brought up.
Neither would confirm who said this, but it has since been widely reported that it was Charles. Even Camilla was apparently taken aback, saying it didn’t matter as Archie would be “absolutely gorgeous” whatever his skin color was. Charles later said Harry was being “overly sensitive” about all this.
Being this concerned with your grandson’s skin color? Red flags for miles!
Wrongdoing rating: 6/10
Conclusion
This gives Charles a wrongdoing rating of 45/80 putting him some distance beyond his sons William (33/80) and Harry (30/80). Then again, he is older and has had more opportunity to do morally despicable things.
That said, taken together these eight incidents add up to a strange and not-particularly-pleasant individual with limited empathy and low-to-average intelligence. Oh well, I guess you’re stuck with the King you’re given rather than the King you want.