Maria Corina Machado probably spent the last few weeks picking out new curtains and carpet for the Miraflores Palace in Caracas. With Trump openly set on deposing Nicolás Maduro one way, she would have concluded it was a matter of when, not if, she was Venezuela’s next president.
Being awarded the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize would have only bolstered that. The path forward was clear: surf to power on a wave of praise from liberal and conservative media and ingratiate yourself with Trump by selling off your country’s oil reserves.
There’s only one problem. Trump really, really, wanted that Nobel Prize and he wasn’t mollified by her going out of her way to praise him in her acceptance speech. No, as per the Trump administration, Machado having the nerve to accept Trump’s Nobel Prize was the “ultimate sin”.
Earlier this week, in one of the most humiliating incidents of grovelling we’ve ever seen on the international stage, she said she was eager to hand him the medal so they could “share it”.
Ah yes, Donald Trump, famously a man who loves to share! Yeah, well, uh, no. He’s not sharing. He wants that medal. And, apparently, he’s going to get it. Speaking to Fox News, he smugly confirmed that she’s going to deliver it to him personally:
🚨OMG: Trump says he wants the Nobel Prize belonging to Venezuelan opposition leader María Corina Machado and expects her to give it to him when she comes to DC next week.
— CALL TO ACTIVISM (@CalltoActivism) January 9, 2026
He can’t be insane enough to take out Maduro just because he wanted her award, can he? pic.twitter.com/6Z9Cpozmy5
“I understand she’s coming in the next week sometime. And I look forward to saying hello to her. And I’ve heard that she wants to do that. That would be a great honor. I did put out eight wars. Eight and a quarter, because y’know Thailand and Cambodia started going at it again…”
Give the baby his rattle
Trump burbled on, clearly believing he’s the new prince of peace. He went on to wrongly slam Norway for not giving him the medal:
“I think it’s been a major embarrassment to Norway…. I don’t know what Norway has to do with it but that’s where the committee is located… a lot of Norwegian people. And it’s been a very big embarrassment to the country of Norway. Whether they have anything to do with it or not. I think they do. They say that they don’t.”
They don’t. But wait, there’s more. It seems that Trump won’t be satisfied with just one Nobel Prize! He wants *drumroll* eight of them at once!
“When you put out eight wars, in theory you should get one for each war. Okay?”
In ordinary times, it’d be fun to watch Trump’s brain decompose in real time – it’s spitting out some truly bonkers statements. But, sadly, this is currently the brain that can unleash global thermonuclear war and usher in the collapse of human civilization. Just something to think about as you sip your morning coffee!
Published: Jan 9, 2026 06:13 am