‘A Harkonnen as portrayed by David Lynch’: As the RFK Jr. confirmation hearings begin, bizarre and terrifying new details of his past emerge

We all laughed at Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s increasingly bizarre antics during his third-party run in the 2024 presidential election. There was the whole barbecued dog-eating thing, the truly bizarre Roseanne Barr dead bearcub Central Park caper, the decapitated whale head goo car journey, and who could forget the revelation from Kennedy himself that “a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died.”

Well, under Trump, Kennedy is now set to become the United States’ top health official, an alarming fact given his high-profile anti-vaccination beliefs, his stance against water fluoridation, and his skepticism of food hygiene regulations. In his new position, Kennedy will have an impact on every American’s health, all of which means we’re not laughing anymore (well, maybe still a chuckle about the worm thing).

As he inches closer to the levers of power, his family has begun speaking out against him. Caroline Kennedy, President John F. Kennedy’s daughter, delivered a stark warning about the type of man her cousin is:

Kennedy, the former U.S. ambassador to Australia, didn’t mince her words. In an open letter and video message, she described him as “dangerous and willfully misinformed,” “addicted to attention and power,” a hypocrite for ensuring his own children are vaccinated while railing against the practice, claiming he “continues to grandstand off my father’s assassination,” and that the American people “deserve better than Bobby Kennedy.”

But the most eyebrow-raising section is a recollection of his college years:

“His basement, his garage, his dorm room were the centers of the action where drugs were available, and he enjoyed showing off how he put baby chickens and mice in the blender to feed his hawks. It was often a perverse scene of despair and violence.”

It’s unknown whether Kennedy was putting live chicks and mice into a blender for laughs with his pals, but I honestly wouldn’t put it past him. Then again, we can see how someone with a reputation for creating a “perverse scene of despair and violence” would fit right into the Trump administration – maybe Kennedy and dog murderer Kristi Noem can swap animal cruelty stories over coffee in the Oval Office?

Horrified reactions ensued online. This is something MAGA devotees really can’t defend, so they deflected and said Kennedy was simply making it up. We don’t buy that take and we believe her:

A salient question:

Yes, we had to check it too:

We can hear this in his voice:

The Trump administration confirmation hearings have been a parade of the worst people alive, complete with people giving evidence about how evil, manipulative, and sociopathic they are. In a just world, this evidence would not only disqualify them from public office but result in mandatory psychological evaluation. But, if you haven’t peeked outside lately, you might have noticed we don’t live in a just world.

In a way, the health of the United States being handed to the guy who allegedly stuffs animals into a blender feels weirdly appropriate given all the other horrible stuff happening. So buckle up folks, because all indications are that we’re on a one-way trip to Despair and Violence City, and a series of cartoonish maniacs are at the wheel.