It’s not often that Melania Trump becomes the subject of praise, but her appearance at a mind-bendingly dystopian rally for her husband did just that in late October.
The former First Lady hasn’t made many public appearances of late, as she works overtime to create distance between herself and the lying sack of sludge she calls her husband, but she made a rare appearance at the presidential candidate’s Madison Square Garden rally. Stiff and disinterested as ever, Melania struggled her way through the appearance, and was widely praised for making the massive sacrifice to show up.
By now, we’re all well aware of how little Donald and Melania Trump like each other. Nearly a decade back, we could see the fractures in an already-questionable relationship, and by 2024 those fractures have become massive canyons. They barely see one another, almost exclusively live apart, and it’s honestly a surprise that Trump hasn’t moved on to a younger, more vacantly supportive, model by now.
And yet, after spending the vast majority of the campaign cycle as far from her husband as she can get, Melania made the surprising decision to join wannabe dictator Trump at his unhinged Oct. 28 rally. She even took to the podium for a quick speech, in between fighting to free her hand from Don’s sweaty grasp, and in the process won herself plenty of praise from even Trump’s most avid detractors. They openly praised the former First Lady for carefully wielding her position at Don’s side to the greatest advantage, and collectively pondered how much money she managed to squeeze out of the spiraling businessman for agreeing to show up.
Memes followed soon after, as people poked fun at the utterly disinterested 54-year-old and praised her for securing that bag, despite the unimaginable cost. For most, sharing space with Donald Trump would be more than enough to turn down even millions, but not Melania. She is so powerful, so entirely unshakeable, that she’ll stick by Don (from a few hundred miles away) through anything, so long as he pays her well.
Unfortunately, even though most people assume Melania’s presence cost Trump a few hundred thousand at least, he didn’t pay her quite enough to fake a good time. She did show up, but it seemed like she’d rather be literally anywhere else.
Which prompted the battle of the handhold to strike again, something few viewers failed to notice. At some point, Trump’s got to learn, right?
It’s clear as day that Melania remains in the marriage for one thing and one thing only, and it’s not her husband. It’s not even her son, now that he’s a technical adult and off to college. It’s the money, it’s always been the money, and it always will be the money. Melania wants those fancy handbags, insanely opulent homes, and the ease of never thinking about bills. She gets those comforts so long as she stays by her felon’s side, which means she’ll never leave it, no matter how bad things get.