If you were writing a drama about a terrible presidency and you invented a fictional Secretary of Health who looked like an animated corpse, whose voice sounds like he’s gargling broken glass, and who wheezed like every breath might be his last, you’d be accused of being a bit hamfisted with your metaphors.
And yet here we are with RFK Jr, a Secretary of Health who looks and sounds as if he’s simultaneously experiencing every illness and malady it’s possible for a person to have. RFK Jr appeared on Capitol Hill yesterday to testify before the U.S. Senate Finance Committee and the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions.
He was grilled on his moronic and lethal stance on vaccines, the bizarre promotional videos produced by his office, and his shaky grasp of simple mathematics. Throughout all this, he emitted a series of disconcerting sounds that could have been ripped out of Resident Evil: Requiem:
OMG — the RFK Jr breathing noises during this hearing are absolutely horrifying pic.twitter.com/BFeDmJTihL
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 22, 2026
What is going on here?
RFK Jr sounds like this because there is literally something wrong with his brain. He suffers from a very rare neurological condition known as spasmodic dysphonia, which makes his vocal cord muscles spasm uncontrollably.
Replies displayed little sympathy, comparing him to a variety of fictional characters who sound similar:
I mean he wishes lowkey, at least this guys sounds like a real villain not just disgusting and horrifying.
— Bene Gesserit Muvva Superior (@ImaniAndromeda) April 22, 2026
— SlippityPoobah (@SlippityPoobah) April 22, 2026
This is disrespectful towards Darth Vader 🤣
— butterfly in the sky🦋 (@VK698) April 22, 2026
Most cuttingly, the Lincoln Project compared him to “an old pug trying to walk up steps”:
I don't know why we're attacking pugs like that. Don't bring them into this! 😂
— AJ (@NWB3ARCAT) April 22, 2026
It is, of course, in somewhat poor taste to mock RFK Jr for a medical condition he has no control over. There is, of course, no reason why someone suffering from a neurological condition that affects how they sound shouldn’t be the Secretary of Health.
However, when you combine that with the fact that his policies and beliefs are resulting in an ever-growing stack of dead kids due to his vaccine skepticism, it’s difficult not to consider him fair game.
Figuring out who in the Trump administration will achieve the highest kill count is a tough call. Pete Hegseth is doing the most active killing, actively reveling in the bloodshed he delivers in Christ’s name. However, in the long term, I suspect RFK Jr will exceed Hegseth’s kill count through sheer persistence, as the true impact of his insane policies begins to stack up over the years and decades to come.
Published: Apr 23, 2026 05:31 am