As the autumn leaves begin to fall in their annual dance of decay, our thoughts turn to the eerie glow of jack-o’-lanterns, the crisp bite of apple cider, and the Queen of Halloween herself, Bette Midler. Heed her words, lest ye fall victim to the forces of ignorance and darkness that threaten our land!
Time and time again, the witty witch has sounded the alarm about a menacing sequel lurking on the horizon. No, not Hocus Pocus 3, but the return of the orange-hued, big-bellied Donald Devil himself. We all know the havoc his second coming could wreak: Reversing climate change regulations (if the recent cyclones are any indication of how bad an idea this is), muzzling the Department of Justice, slashing healthcare rights, gutting the Department of Homeland Security, and — perhaps most frightening of all — dismantling the Department of Education.
In true Bette fashion, she took to X to eviscerate these fascist urges. This time, a mere two words sufficed to expose the underbelly of Trumpism.
She reacted to a meme satirizing the consequences of abolishing the Department of Education, wherein a Confederate flag-clad man with the misspelled slogan “My Incestors built this country” emblazoned on his shirt is featured. Spooky how Bette always knows Bette-r! With the dumbing down of America reaching new lows supporting a senile grandpa like Trump, this meme might just leap off the screen and into reality.
I mean, we have already got people believing Democrats control the weather, that raw milk is a brain elixir, and that Donald Trump is the second coming of Jesus. So, what’s to stop the collective IQ from plummeting to Room Temperature Land? And let’s face it, most of us can’t afford to bribe our way into college like some people we know (hint: it’s someone notorious for hush money and high stakes).
At rallies, Trump has repeatedly vowed to disband the DoE, proclaiming that he would “move everything back to the states where it belongs.” The Heritage Foundation’s right-wing manifesto, Project 2025, lays out a blueprint for dismantling the department. Project 2025 also calls for privatizing education and purging any programs supporting LGBTQ+ youth or diversity.
If implemented, this scheme could disrupt over $30 billion in funding for students with disabilities and those from low-income families. Dismantling the DoE would likely widen the gap between rich and poor states. Wealthy states might maintain or even enhance their education systems, while poorer states could be left floundering without federal support.
In an interview with Elon Musk on X, Trump claimed the U.S. had a “horrible” education ranking at the bottom of developed countries, despite spending the most. Of course, the facts tell a slightly different story. In recent international tests, the U.S. ranked sixth in reading, tenth in science, and twenty-sixth in math among 81 countries. So, Trump’s call to overhaul education hardly stems from noble intentions.
In short, we have seen the chaos wrought by a previous Trump term. And Midler, our Hocus Pocus harbinger, knows well when Halloween is nigh. So, too, should we recognize the clear and present dangers to our democracy with the same seriousness.