‘Right into the subtitle hall of fame’: Sofa disciple JD Vance cements his deeply unfortunate legacy and even closed captioning is uncomfortable

JD Vance is not the slam dunk Donald Trump thought he would be. When the presidential candidate and all-around soiled diaper of a man tapped Vance to be his running mate, he clearly expected a much more positive reaction than the one he’s gotten.

Instead of injecting fresh energy and excitement into the campaign, the arrival of JD Vance largely did the opposite. It leeched what little furor the Trump camp had worked up with their ceaseless pot-stirring and effectively took the wind out of the campaign’s sails. His lack of impact — positive impact, that is — is clearly getting to Trump, but he’s in too deep to ditch the weird, robotic jar of mayonnaise he selected as his vice president.

Vance just keeps digging the unlikability hole deeper. With each public appearance, he adds fuel to the fire of distaste an ever-increasing number of Americans feel for him. This was only escalated following Trump’s disastrous visit to Arlington National Cemetery, and his campaign’s attempts to rewrite the narrative sure aren’t helping.

At the head of the finger-pointing pack is Vance himself, who claimed in a recent press appearance that Trump was only at the cemetery to provide “emotional support to brave Americans who lost loved ones,” and falsely claimed that “there happened to be a camera there.” Newsflash buddy, the camera was there because the Trump team brought it along, and a fight broke out because they insisted on filming despite specific directions from Arlington staff.

The issue with Vance’s brainless take is currently circulating on social media, showcasing the exact motivation Trump had for visiting the cemetery in the first place. He was looking for campaign fodder, not to provide support or empathy, and that’s exactly what he got. A campaign video posted to the former president’s official TikTok is more than enough evidence of Trump’s ghoulish motivations for visiting the ceremony — all so he could attempt to place blame on Joe Biden and Kamala Harris for the loss of lives, and warp the narrative to make himself look like a hero.

What it actually accomplished, to Trump and Vance’s chagrin, was entirely the opposite. People were outraged when they heard of the candidate’s behavior on such sacred ground, and quickly slapped him with widespread condemnation. Vance’s attempts to reshape the optics aren’t going well, but at least all that dislike resulted in one of the most on-point closed captioning moments of the campaign so far.

It’s actually a callback to his similar levels of unpopularity during his days as a senator, but a flawless bit of closed captioning perfectly describes the level of enthusiasm most Americans feel for Vance. Back at a rally before he was tapped as Trump’s running mate, an exceedingly accurate moment of subtitling exposed the “single person clapping” for the broadly detested politician, reminding everyone, everywhere, that Vance was never anything but a massive American mistake.

Even Trump seems to realize it these days, but there’s not much he can do about it. Sure, he can ditch Vance for a more popular candidate, but what if they aren’t willing to lay down their pride, self-respect, and the laws of this nation to appease Diaper Don’s whims? It puts the presidential candidate in a real pickle, but at least it provides the rest of us with ceaseless entertainment as we watch both he and Vance fumble and flail their way through the gradual decline of their White House ambitions.